A thousand? A million? They’re the worst. The absolute worst. Everything about them screams Duke. Their names, their antics, the fact that they’re brothers. And guess what I learned last night, they have ANOTHER brother who is going to play at Duke. I literally moaned in disgust when I heard Dicky V say that. And If this is me just being a hater I don’t care, because If I can’t hate the Plumlee brothers then I never want to watch another game of basketball again.

Sometimes I think Coach K recruits solely on guys that will piss off the entire country. That has to be it. There is no other explanation.

I hate College basketball. Its boring, the players are unathletic, teams are always mismatched and the 35 second shot clock is absolutely brutal. So with that said it is extremely rare for my Guaranteed Lead Pipe Locks to cross paths with a College Basketball Game. Well tonight is one of those special nights because I can’t for the life of me figure out how Georgetown is getting 4.5 at the Carrier Dome. This is going to be a slugfest. One of those classic Big East games that comes down to the last possession. No way they don’t cover, just no way.  Lock it up.

Georgetown +4.5 @ Syracuse

NEW YORK — Alex Rodriguez reportedly didn’t appreciate being made into a Super Bowl spectacle.

The Yankees’ slugger joined the Star Wars Kid as water cooler topics on Monday, a day after cameras captured girlfriend Cameron Diaz feeding A-Rod a piece of popcorn, a cozy moment broadcast to an estimated audience of 111 million.

According to the Chicago Sun-Times’ Bill Swecker, Rodriguez was not pleased. According to Swecker’s anonymous source, Fox agreed not to show any more shots of Rodriguez and Diaz watching the game from a box at Cowboys Stadium.

“He really went ballistic — thinking the cameraman was out to get them in a paparazzi-like shot. … That’s so crazy,” the source told Zwecker.

A-Rod is such a toad I can’t stand it. Did anyone even care about this story more than 24 hours after it happened? Everyone forgot it even took place. But A-Rod goes and brings it back out, crying like a whiny little bitch. Honestly, what is he even complaining about? That Fox caught him doing something so patently A-Rod that everyone laughed at him? How does that make sense. Everyone makes fun of A-Rod for being a loser, so he goes and does exactly what makes him a loser, complaining to anyone who will listen, and everyone makes fun of him again. And round and round we go. He literally can not get out of his own way. Its uncanny.

Its so crazy that I sometimes think he is a comedic savant playing an elaborate hoax on all of us. Then I remember its just A-Rod being the tool that he is.

I told myself I would take a post Super Bowl breather on the locks. Too many locks and people get greedy. Well breather over.

I guarantee this one. It honestly might be the most slam dunk lock I have ever posted thats how confident I feel in it. Theres just no way this game doesn’t go over. No way in hell.

Memphis @ OKC Over 206

DALLAS — The Cleveland Cavaliers lost their way into the NBA record book in fitting fashion — not with a blowout, but with the kind of head-slapping plays typical of a team that can’t do anything right.

Like a 7-foot center losing a jump ball to a 6-foot-2 guard. And a decent outside shooter deciding to pass as time expired instead of putting up a potential tying 3-pointer.

The miscues doomed the Cavs to a 99-96 loss to the Dallas Mavericks on Monday night, making it 25 straight losses, the most in league history no matter how it’s counted.

So all anyone is talking about today is the poor Cavs this and the poor Cavs that. Well I’m not buying it. I don’t feel bad for the Cavs or their front office for one second. Yeah Lebron fucked them over hard, and that sucked, but its not his fault the team had literally no plan B.

The Cavs, their fans, and front office spent the past 7 years living in this fictional land where they didn’t even comprehend the possibility that Lebron could leave. So who’s fault is that? Not Lebron’s. Everyone knew he only cared about himself. So to have no backup plan for him being a dickhead and jumping ship was incredibly shortsighted. And you can’t say they were left out of the loop and Lebron didn’t tell them about his decision until it was too late. Dan Gilbert had to know there was a chance he was leaving, so why didn’t he at least get the wheels in motion for Plan B? Did he really think Anderson Varejo and Mo Williams constituted an actual NBA team? I can feel sorry for bad luck but not stupidity. 25 straight losses is Dan Gilbert and the entire organization’s own doing.

I love this kid. Old school hook shots for days. Fuck Jimmer Fredette, this is the cat that is going to get me into college baskteball. This is the kid ESPN needs to be fawning over. The Istanbull is in the motherfucking house.

PS

He kind of reminds me of a less athletic version of myself.

I love how everyone talks about the halftime show like it was some 200 dollar concert they paid for. Yeah the black eyed peas sucked, but who cares? Every super bowl halftime show sucks. That’s what happens when you make a band sing a mashup of songs with no soundcheck and a stage that was wheeled out in 2 minutes. New Mexico got it right. As long as the band doesn’t die on stage they got a passing grade. That’s literally how low the bar is set.

PS
Except Prince in Super Bowl 41, he started a revolution.

Just Classic A-Rod in all his glory. Guy literally can’t get out of his own way. Of course he was being hand fed popcorn on national TV during the Super Bowl, of course. Just A-Rod doing what A-Rod does best, being awkward, weird, and a gigantic loser all at once.

PS

That wasn’t a real phone that Madden was texting with right? No way. Its like when you see parents give their young children old phones just so they can punch the numbers and pretend they’re an adult. That has to be it.