The Worst Titty Twister In The History Of The World, Woman Rips Daughter In Law’s Nipple Clean Off

LAS CRUCES - A 44-year-old woman who allegedly ripped her daughter-in-law’s nipple off during a drunken argument could be facing criminal charges, the 3rd Judicial District Attorney’s Office confirmed Wednesday.Las Cruces police officers responded to Memorial Medical Center on Sunday morning, when doctors were already in the process of reattaching the nipple to the 30-year-old victim’s breast.

It’s believed to be the first time a local victim has suffered a body part being torn from them, said Chief Deputy District Attorney Amy Orlando. The victim told officers she, her husband, his mother and one of her husband’s friends had spent Saturday night drinking at an apartment in the 1000 block of Idaho Avenue, according to the police report. Sometime after 3 a.m., the victim’s husband had started arguing with his mother, and because it was becoming “very intense,” the victim went to stand in between the two to separate them.

When the victim began arguing with her 44-year-old mother-in-law, the older woman allegedly “grabbed (the victim’s) right breast and began to squeeze and pull on her nipple.” The victim yelled to stop, but her mother-in-law allegedly continued to pull until the younger woman began punching her in the face, according to the police report.

The victim then told police she threw her mother-in-law into the yard, but the older woman allegedly kicked in the back door and had to be physically removed again.

When she untucked her tank top, her nipple fell on the floor, she told police.

The victim put the nipple in a bag and, after several hours, decided she should go to the emergency room.

You know those mornings when you wake up after a night of drinking and are sore as fuck. You wonder, did I get punched? Did I get hit by a car? What happened to my leg? etc etc. Well, never again can anyone ever complain about a hangover that causes bodily pain. Because at the end of the day, no matter how much you drank, and how bad your head hurts, you didn’t get your nipple torn clean off your tit, and for that you should be eternally grateful.

PS

This is why its always a bad idea to drink with family. Its all fun and games until someone brings up the time Dad took you to the circus instead of your sister and next thing you know nipples are falling off left and right. Ive seen it happen a million times.

PPS

In the history of crunch time decisions I dont think there is any worse than putting your nipple in a bag and taking a “wait and see” approach to your nipple less tit.

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