Wisconsin Man Wins Liar Of The Year, No Joke Its An Actual Contest

liar Wisconsin Man Wins Liar Of The Year, No Joke Its An Actual Contest

(Source) MILWAUKEE (AP) — A Wisconsin man has earned bragging rights as the champion liar of 2010 with this line: “I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.”

David Milz, 49, told The Associated Press he came up with the one-liner over the summer when he was joking around with colleagues. He thought it might be good enough to win the Burlington Liars Club’s annual contest, but the call he received Wednesday was still a surprise.

“I was just shocked when I heard I won,” the Bristol man said. “Hey, it’s a résumé builder.
The liars’ club started in 1929 as a lighthearted way to honor the creativity and humor of good exaggeration. A lifetime membership costs $1, but anyone can submit fibs for free.

About 500 entries came in this year from around the country, with most from the Midwest, club vice president Ed Impens said. He and two other judges sifted through the entries this week and each made a Top10 list.

Milz’s entry was the only one that made all three lists, Impens said.

“It had all three of the things we think are important: It’s fairly short, humor is very important, and it’s timely,” he said.

Wait, I’m confused. How is “I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met” a lie? How do we know that’s not actually true. Seems pretty plausible to me. I mean if you were some hot wacko psychic chick would you want to be dating David Milz from Bristol Wisconsin? No way. So you left his ass before you met him, avoid the messiness of a break up. Makes perfect sense to me.

This Liar’s club is a fucking sham.

PS
Hey David Milz’s ex psychic girlfriend, call me, my college picks have been terrible.

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Roger Goodell Is The Biggest Hypocrite In The World

roger goodell Roger Goodell Is The Biggest Hypocrite In The World

EDEN PRAIRIE, Minn. — Down to the last few days of the season and maybe Brett Favre‘s career, the NFL ended a slow-paced investigation of tawdry allegations against the quarterback with a $50,000 fine and a rebuke for not being candid.

The league punished one of its marquee players for failing to cooperate with investigators who were trying to determine if the 41-year-old quarterback sent inappropriate messages and below-the-belt photos to Jenn Sterger in 2008, when both worked for the New York Jets.

I dislike brett favre with an intense passion. I wish he would go away and never come back. But yesterday’s fine is a non-story. Its Roger Goodell coming out of the closet as the worlds biggest hypocrite that is the real story.

Roger goodell cares about 1 thing and 1 thing only, money. He cares about sponsorship money, television money, collective bargaining money, money, money, money. That’s the bottom line. And the only thing that gets in the way of his money is public image. That’s why he is tony toughnuts when it comes to suspensions. He is not suspending plaxico burress because he shot himself in the dick, he’s suspending him because he embarrassed the league. Or the whole “Big Hit” rules he implemented in the middle of this season. He could give two shits about player’s brains, but when everyone is sitting around the dinner table and talking about how violent the NFL is and how scary a sport it has become, thats a problem. Because that line of thinking gets directly in the way of Goodell’s money.

1 Jenn Sterger   Brett Favre Roger Goodell Is The Biggest Hypocrite In The World

So what’s more embarrassing than a star player texting dick pics to a fellow team employee? Whats more embarrassing than the guy who is the most notable quarterback of the past decade having his penis splashed across the internet? I would say nothing. But Goodell knows Favre is bigger than the game and he doesn’t want to embarass him before his thousandth retirement next week. Which is fine. But you can’t have your cake and eat it too. You can’t be a hard ass one second and punchless the next. Which is exactly what Goodell did here. He changed the rules of the game when it was convenient to him, which is such an ugly characteristic for a person to possess.

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  • Favre should have been suspended, end of story


    - Anonymous

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Let’s Go Bowling - Illinois vs Baylor, Arizona vs OK State

arizona cheerleader hottest student Lets Go Bowling   Illinois vs Baylor, Arizona vs OK State

I was thinking about posting a picture of a hot Illinois cheerleader then I remembered hot girl’s don’t go to Illinois. They either go to Wisconsin if they have a brain or Ohio State if they don’t. And then all the ugly people go to Michigan.

Oh well, at least I’m staying true to the Big Ten and going with Illinois here.

Illinois -1.5 vs Baylor

Arizona +4 vs Oklahoma State

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The Perfect Explanation Of People Who Get Paid To Touch Your Dick

junk The Perfect Explanation Of People Who Get Paid To Touch Your Dick

You Can Never Say The Hot Glove Hasn’t Taught You Something.

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I Hate This Turtle

Fuck this turtle. What are you going to just skateboard around and not do any tricks. At least ollie a couple times or grind on a rail, let us know you’re serious. Everyone knows skateboarders that can’t do tricks get beat up at that skate park. That and they always hook up with the tom boy that tags around the group. Gross.

PS

typical fucking cat, always butting in on turtle skate videos. Fuck you cat, go steal a baby’s soul or take a nap somewhere.

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  • The day big cat hates a turtle is the day hell freezes over


    - T-Train

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Gnarly 90s - The Tail of the Pinball Wizard

Are You Afraid of the Dark - S01E13

Disclaimer: First off that is the whole episode from Are You Afraid of the Dark not a clip if you want to watch it. 25 minutes 20 sec commercials every 5 minutes.

dark 298x300 Gnarly 90s   The Tail of the Pinball Wizard

So, am I afraid of the Dark? Yes

Am I know afraid of pinball machines? Yes

What about creepy pedophile arcade managers who try to trap little kids in his pinball machine? Yes

Witches? Yes

fruit by the foot? Not at all

Malls? Yes

Seriously besides Zeke the plumber this is the scariest thing to happen in the 90s, maybe even the century. This episode had it all too. A berzerker with a maze, weird CIA looking mother fuckers who can detach their hands, a overly jacked elevator doorman, a witch who is probably better looking when she takes off her outfit, and a stupid king.

The statement moment though is when that pinball hits the top of the escalator, sends shivers up my spine. Its one of the few times in my life I felt trapped (and not in the closet[not that kind of closet but the R. Kelly type of closet]).

I like the water guns ability to make characters slowly (and I mean very slowly) disappear. You would think he is shooting holy water at vampires or something. But something that really lights a fire under my ass are the plot holes. The first time he plays the game there is no pinball. Like at the end of the episode when there is one at the top of the elevator. Whats the deal with that shit? Second, doesn’t the kid know the whole level front and back now so he can blow through it in like 2 minutes tops. Does not seem that hard at all. Lastly where are this kids parents? What are they going to do when he doesnt return for dinner? If they find him in the pinball machine does he stay that small forever?

We need Steven Hawking for this shit.

Fat Bastard

P.S. is that blonde chick a bombshell or what? Polly Shannon is her name and I think along came polly was about her, right? Tally another F-book friend for fat bastard

Band of the Week: Fall out Boy - Seriously can these guys shred on their instruments or what? No they cant. They suck.

Farley clip of the week:

Quote of the Week:

Don’t do drugs”

-Whatever Brah

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The Spy’s Fact Of The Day

man holding breath2 200x300 The Spys Fact Of The Day

Fact - If you plug your nose you can’t hum (keep your mouth close too)


Spy’s Take - and if your hand is bigger than your face you’re retarded.

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Who’s Excited For The Military Bowl Presented By Northop Grumman?

ecu Whos Excited For The Military Bowl Presented By Northop Grumman?

That was a dumb question because lets get real, who isn’t excited for the military bowl presented by Northop Grumman?

ECU +7.5 vs Maryland

Bowl Record 5-5-1

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Guy On Plane Decks Kid For Using His Cell Phone

cell phone 300x204 Guy On Plane Decks Kid For Using His Cell Phone

(NEWSER) – Next time the flight attendants ask you to turn off your cell phone before takeoff, you better do it … because if you don’t, the 68-year-old guy sitting next to you just might punch you. Russell Miller, accused of doing just that, was arrested upon landing last night and charged with misdemeanor battery. He got into a fight with a 15-year-old boy on a Southwest flight from Las Vegas to Boise, CNN reports, and allegedly smacked the kid on the shoulder when he refused to turn off his iPhone.

Fellow passengers say the boy was playing games and listening to music at the time, KBOI2 adds. Miller “felt he was protecting the entire plane and its occupants,” a police officer says. “He punched him so hard there was a mark on the teen’s arm.”

Fuck Russell Miller. The no cell phone rule is the dumbest rule in the history of the world. Honestly, how does being on your cell phone impede you from sitting on a plane? I don’t get it. In fact just last week I was flying and got my cell phone taken away by the stewardess for the exact same thing. I shit you not. We were coming in for a descent, I was trying to check scores and she walked up to me and took it right of my hands. Said it was a safety concern and that I was being insubordinate. I asked her if using big words that I didn’t understand made her feel tough. She didn’t respond, but I bet it did.

Because lets face it, the no cell phone rule is only in place for tattle tales like Russel Miller and Flight attendants on a power trip. Thats it. Normal people understand that if the plane goes down we’re all fucked anyway, I might as well see if I hit the over on the Boise/Utah game before I die in a gigantic flameball. Is that too much to ask?

PS

If it was Alexander Wright then Russel Miller is a hero.

6 comments - Latest by:

  • Although you said “I shit you not”, part of me still suspects you are shitting me. Please confirm that your personal story is true, because if so, well that’s just terrific stuff.


    - Lampi
  • 100% factual. Ordinarily I would have been furious but watching this lady get mad because I refused to apologize was worth having my cell phone taken away.


    - Big Cat
  • Guy On Plane Decks Kid For Using His Cell Phone | The Hot Glove…

    Here at World Spinner we are debating the same thing……


    - World Spinner
  • I hope whoever invented World Spinner gets AIDS.


    - Schwa
  • at world spinner they’re debating aids right now


    - kev
  • ………In January 2010 a new international study began to investigate the correlation between cell phone use and brain tumors. This study officially confirmed that of the two types of tumors only gliomas were related to heavy cell phone use. As many had suspected the study did find a connection between prolonged cell phone use and tumors.


    - Monex

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Brad From Home Improvement Is Not Exactly Donald Trump When It Comes To Business

brad Brad From Home Improvement Is Not Exactly Donald Trump When It Comes To Business

(Source) Zachery Ty Bryan has sued his partners at Hollywood sports bar Big Wangs.

According to documents obtained by TMZ, the former Home Improvement actor claimed that Peter Brill and Joe Barker stole his investment and used the money he invested for personal gain.

He accused the men of living “high off the hog” by purchasing several trips to Hawaii, a Hollywood Hills house and a Porsche as well as using much of the cash to open several other restaurants, all on a credit card in Big Wangs’ name.

Bryan is asking for unspecified damages.

Wait so you’re saying a bar named “Big Wangs” owned by Brad from Home Improvement didn’t make assloads of money and wasn’t a resounding success? What the fuck? How did that happen? Makes no sense whatsoever.

PS

Its sad to think how everything could have been different. If Brad hadn’t fallen down the stairs and fucked up his knee maybe he would’ve been able to play soccer at UCLA and become a professional MLS player. What a shame.

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  • I was more of a JTT guy myself


    - kev

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