Pretty safe to say that Matt Dodge and every Giants fan in New York is on suicide watch. Blowing a 21 point lead in the 4th quarter and having a punt returned for a td with no time left? Brutal. I almost felt bad, then I remembered I hate New York.

PS

There arent enough tissues in the world for this guy right about now.

God’s child will not let us down.

Broncos @ Raiders Over 41.5

I need a horn jumpsuit and I need one now.

PS

Whats with the bassist? Would it kill the guy to smile once and a while? Its called showmanship dude, take a lesson from horn guy, he’s got it coming out of his eyeballs.

Make sure you remember to laugh this weekend.

Back for picks and weirdness..

Have a great weekend…

Hey idiot, its a fucking TV, that other pug isn’t really there.

Fucking pugs, not only are they weird but they’re dumb as bricks too.

PS

Videotaping yourself playing video games while your pug freaks out at the TV screen. Pretty sure that’s Rock Bottom.

Yup, I’m pretty sure we’re close to the end here people. We’re staring it in the face.

When ever I jump over a car going 30 mph I always like to make sure I do it in the best possible environment. You know, snow, ice, slippery footing etc. I find it gives me the best possible chance to smash my face into the windshield and crack my skull.

PS

Quite the week for the Ruskies. Those commie bastards have been dropping straight fire all week. Hats off to them.

PPS

Any surprise this guy walked it off? Fucking russians man, guy gets his teeth knocked out by a car and is still good to go drink a Pint of vodka and hit the sauna later that night.

Fact - The voice of shredder in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was done by Uncle Phil.

Spy’s Take - This is actually real, but its so mind blowing that I can’t believe it and I won’t believe it.

Its the most annoying 2 weeks of the season. Fantasy Football Playoffs. It honestly doesn’t get any worse. Everyone wants to tell you about their matchup, wants advice on who they should start, tells you how they got screwed and how they should of won*. Newsflash dickfuck, no one cares about your fantasy team. Keep that shit to yourself. Or better yet, do what I do, and handle that shit on the field. Get your team properly motivated for their game, watch film on your opponent, get everyone focused. You think my players have motivation problems? Fuck no. Because I’m the best fantasy coach in the world.

*And No, I’m not bitter about this team missing the playoffs, I actually loved this team. They were so bad they ended up being good. Which makes no sense, kind of like drafting 3 Buffalo Bills.

Picks…

Detroit @ Tampa Bay -5.5 - Drew Stanton, you magnificent quarterback you. Leading your Lions to a whole SEVEN points. Is it too late to get Drew on the Pro Bowl Ballot?

Buffalo +5.5 @ Miami - At what point do you think I need to stop getting ice coffee? Or have I already reached the point of no return? Every time I go to get coffee they look at me like I have a gigantic dick hanging from my forehead. I get it, its cold as balls outside, but who cares, I like iced coffee. So, fuck you starbucks, don’t judge me. I’ll order ice coffees when its -10 degrees because I’m a man and I get to do what I want.

Jacksonville +4.5 @ Indianapolis - I’m so torn. Half of me wants the Colts to miss the playoffs because that would be awesome but the other half thinks no Colts in the playoff means no ill-timed  Peyton Manning interception. You see my dilemma here? It just wouldn’t be January if Peyton wasn’t throwing back breaking picks.

Continue reading “The Hot Glove’s Week 15 Picks” »

(NEWSER) – An ATM at a posh Florida mall cuts out the paper and goes straight for gold. Slide in credit card or cash and get out a pile of gold bars and coins in a tidy black box, the APreports. The German machine is primarily a novelty item, says its inventor, but could also be handy for investors who don’t want to deal with ordering gold over the internet or at pawn shops. There’s also one at the Emirates Palace hotel in Abu Dhabi.

I need this ATM so bad it fucking hurts. So what if I wouldnt be able to withdraw money without overdrafting out of my asshole. That’s not the point. The point is, when you’re an award winning writer and world renowned art collector anything less than a gold dispensing ATM just won’t do.

PS

Thank god they didn’t try to steal my idea of a caviar vending machine.

PPS

Smart planning putting this bad boy in Florida. How quickly before a meth head tries to rob this thing? Or has that already happened?

Thanks to DP for the tip