Apr 30 2010

Time For The Weekend

Big Weekend coming up. Second round of the NBA and NHL Playoffs, Kentucky Derby, and Mayweather Mosley. Its supposed to be like 80 degrees in Chicago tomorrow, good thing the only time I’ll be outside is when I’m walking from my car to the OTB and back. Anyway, here are a couple of picks for tonight

Hawks vs Bucks +1.5

Canadiens vs Penguins Over 5.5 goals

And some badass dude just completely rocking out on his recorder harder than anyone in the history of the world. Come back tomorrow for a Derby/Fight preview. Have a good weekend.

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Apr 30 2010

Business Idea Friday - Special Celebrity Guest Appearance

From: Coach

Sent: Friday, April 30, 2010 12:23 PM
To: Big Cat
Subject: Business Idea Friday

Big Cat,

Big Fan of the site. I had an idea for your Business Idea Fridays that I wanted to swing by you. I was thinking we could combine my draw as an A-list celebrity with your business instincts and smarts.

The idea is basically a website where you can post things for sale. Like apartments, tickets, blow jobs, cars, etc…

That’s basically all I have so far. I know it’s raw but I think it really has the chance of taking off. Just need some of your expertise and business skills to take it over the top.

The only thing I ask is that whatever we end up calling the website it needs to incorporate my first name. Like Craigsboard, or Craigssite. I don’t know, you’ll figure out the details.

All the best,


Craig T. Nelson

When Coach comes calling with a business idea you listen. That’s just a fact, guy is an absolute genius both on and off the football field. So Mr. Nelson, I accept.

Just give me a few months to think up that name, it won’t be easy but I’ll think of something.

Apr 30 2010

Where Is My Life Headed?

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Dude’s just trying to get his steam on his with his two cats. Like he said, in finland they bath with cats. Who am I to judge him.

I mean when you think about it, whats worse, having a naked sauna with your hot cats or blogging about some dude having a naked sauna with his hot cats?

I’m definitely thinking I’m the weirdo in this relationship. Kind of a wake up call to where I’m at these days. Like this dude is at least spending some qt with his cats, I’m just a perv watching him.

Pretty sure that next to rock bottom in the dictionary there is picture of me sitting at my computer watching finnish sauna videos.


Ive watched this like 5 times and I laugh everytime he points to his cat and goes “hot cats” (14 seconds). We get it dude, cat is in the sauna therefore it is a hot cat, didn’t need you to explain it to us.

Apr 30 2010

Giant Raccoons Are Invading Chicago - Don’t Worry, I Have A Plan

These aren’t just ordinary raccoons.  Residents of one Chicago, Illinois, neighborhood say they are being invaded by giant raccoons.  Wilma Ward, one of the residents, said that a particular raccoon invader “looked like an orangutan swinging-swinging around.  It was scary, very scary.”  Other folks in her neighborhood have described raccoons the size of German Shepherds.  Apparently, Chicago is being invaded by giant raccoons!

The problem isn’t so much the size of the animals, but the damage they can do.  In a city with over 75,000 foreclosed homes, raccoons are breaking into old buildings for shelter (or accidentally falling through holes in the roof) and causing massive amounts of damage as they scramble to get out or just wreck the place up to make it more comfortable for them.  Even a normal-sized raccoon can cause thousands of dollars in damages; these raccoons in question are large enough to bend steel security bars on windows!

Shit is getting real serious in Chicago right now. I mean a giant Racoon invasion? Am I in heaven? Because it sure feels like it. This is the type of shit that is directly up my alley. Like Mayor Daley needs to create a special task force of just me for this exact situation. In my opinion I would explain to the Mayor that we have two options.

1. I could get rid of all of them. Look I’m not saying it would be easy but I am not intimidated by Raccoons, just never have been. And I know what you’re thinking, but Big Cat they’re so fucking cute and cuddly. This is true, but if there’s one thing you need to know about me is that I have a heart of steel. I’ll look those raccoons right in the eye and my brain will be saying man that thing is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life I kind of want to pet it, but my heart will be saying NO, get out of here Raccoons you are not welcome in my city. It will be exactly like Harry and The Hendersons. I’ll just have to be firm but fair.

2. I could be-friend them and start a Raccoon gang. This is obviously the preferably outcome. Talk about badass, just cruising the streets with my raccoon gang cleaning up crime and eating trash all day long. It would be exactly like Boondock saints, except with Raccoons and lots of trash eating.

The only downside to option 2 is that my main man cash flow would probably have to be out of my crew. I just don’t think having a 6 year old boxer hanging out with killer raccoons is the smartest idea. Just seems completely far fetched and un-realistic.

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Thanks to Rochey for the tip. See something funny online? send it along. See something awesome on the street? Take a pic and send me the tip. [email protected]

Apr 30 2010

Spy’s Fact Of The Day

Cockroaches can live for 9 days after their head has been cut off.

Spy’s back on Monday. Thank god, I’m sick of muddling my brain with useless facts, It was getting crowded up there, need that room for all my million dollar Business Ideas.

Apr 30 2010

April: A Few Plays to Remember, More Games to Forget

Well April didn’t turn out the way Ozzie had it drawn up leaving Glendale, AZ.  The White Sox came out of spring training with a starting rotation that was supposed to be one of the best in the American League and an offense designed by Ozzie to be a mix of speed, contact hitting and power.  After a much needed win today they sit at 9-13 in April.

I’m not the kind of guy who is going to drown you in stats but there a few that I think are noteworthy.  The pitching which is the “stength” of the team  has compiled a team ERA of 4.55, good for 20th in the big leagues.  John Danks has looked unreal so far and Kenny Williams trading Brandon McCarthy for Danks a few years back looks better and better every time John takes the ball.  Speaking of great trades Kenny was involved in, the Jake Peavy trade has been a huge move….for the Padres.  As I said a few weeks ago, I’m still confident in the Jake Meister but he needs to turn it around and turn it around fast because he needs to be an ace for the White Sox to win.  The rest of the starting pitchers need to do more of what Danks is doing.

Now on to the offense.  I just got a little sick to my stomach thinking about them so I won’t spend too much time here.  The White Sox are 30th in the majors in team batting average (yes, that is dead last) at a cool .221.  I need to give some credit to Paul Konerko and Andruw Jones for carrying the rest of the team and keeping April from being an even uglier month.  These guys have turned back the clock as the ball is just jumping off their bats.

April Highlights:  Mark Buehrle’s Play of the Year and Paulie leading the Majors with 10 HR’s

April Lowlight:  April 21st 12-0 loss to the Rays that included having peanuts dumped in my beer and a kid puke behind the Big Cat, Spy and I

My grandpa always tells me that you can’t win a pennant in April and he seems to be all over that one.  I’m surprisingly confident about where this team is going and I’m looking forward to a much better May.

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Apr 30 2010

Pic Of The Day

She Almost Made It

Apr 30 2010

Guy Goes 70 Years Without Eating Or Drinking

SCIENTISTS are studying an 82-year-old man who claims he has not had any food or drink for 70 years.

Prahlad Jani’s claims are being put to the test at a hospital in Ahmedabad, where he is being closely monitored and studied by India’s Defence Research Development Organisation, which believes he may have a quality which could help save lives, The Telegraph reports.

He has so far spent six days without food or water under the strict observation of doctors who say his body is yet to show any signs of hunger or dehydration.

Mr Jani is regarded as a “breatharian” who can live a “spiritual life-force” alone. He believes he is sustained by the “elixir” of a goddess.

The research organisation believes Mr Jani could hold the key to helping soldiers or disaster victims survive without food for longer periods in times of crisis.

Well this guy is making everyone else in the world look like a bunch of pussies. Here I am acting like a baby when I don’t get my coffee by 830 am and fucking Prahlad is going on 70 years of not eating or drinking shit. Are we sure this guy isn’t like one of those half human half fish things from Waterworld. Someone needs to check behind his ears and make sure he doesn’t have gills, or see if he has some kid walking around with him that has a map tattooed on her back.

What I really want to know though is where I can get myself a bottle of this spiritual life force. Like what the fuck, I can’t go more than 2 hours without getting hungry and thirsty, If I don’t eat every few hours my body just refuses to do the most simple tasks. Then you got Prahlad who is full all the time on spiritual life force. Just eating spirits for breakfast lunch and dinner like its some 5 course meal. It’s bullshit man, share some of those spirits and let us save some cash on food and water. Could you imagine if you didn’t have to eat or drink how much disposable income you would have for booze and partying? I would just eat a big plate of spirits every morning when I woke up and then party all day long.

So Prahlad, fuck all these doctors that are making you prove your powers, I totally believe that you went 70 years without drinking and eating. In my book anything over 7 hours is basically 70 years. Just shoot me a sixer of those spirits and I’ll get your back when you start eating around day 10 and everyone says it was all some homeless guy trying to pull a publicity stunt so that he could sleep in a bed for a week.


I honestly don’t think I could last more than 6 hours without food and water. Like if I ever get lost in the woods you can call off the search and helicopters after half a day because I’m deader than dead. Save that money and spend it on my funeral, I’m talking bedazzled coffin and crazy nacho cheese fountains and shit.

Apr 29 2010

I’m Scorching Lava Hot

Yawn, just another 3-0 night for the Big Cat. Paying attention yet? I’m like the new John Anthony, just drowning in a sea of money.  So let’s keep the streak alive, and get some more winners and some old school rap…

Dallas +4.5 vs Spurs

Suns +1 vs Blazers

Jason terry Over 14 points

Amare Stoudemire Over 31.5 Pts + Rebounds

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Apr 29 2010

This Movie Looks Incredible

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