Mar 31 2010

Rabbit Rabbit

“Rabbit rabbit white rabbit” is a common superstition. The modern version states that a person should say “rabbit, rabbit, white rabbit” or simply “rabbit, rabbit” upon waking on the first day of each new month, and on doing so will receive good luck for the duration of that month.

My friends, I just dropped a WEALTH of knowledge on you… This is my fucking secret. There’s a reason that I’m on a path to total world domination… You’ll be surprised to know that it’s not just my: good looks, charm, sophistication, intelligence, (insert incrediblesque adjective here)…I’ve got all that AND the luck of the white rabbit in my corner!

Once I got a phone that could sync to my calendar, I set it to alert me at 7a on the first of every month. It does all the hard work for me! I’m snoozing, phone beeps and displays “rabbit rabbit”, I say “rabbit rabbit”, BAM- good fortune for approximately 30 days. Rinse and repeat.

Mar 31 2010

Flip Murray Draining Hooks From Halfcourt

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Kind of reminds me of myself, except mine would have counted.

Mar 31 2010

Reader Email - The Tebow Lovers Come Out

From: Tebow Lover (via 3rd party)
Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 1:48 PM
To: Big Cat

So I have been reading thehotglove and  I  find it very entertaining.  But you tell “Big Cat” if he ever insults Tebow again, I will officially ban the blog! hahaha. (no, but seriously.)

In the words of Patrick Swayze, Nobody puts Baby in a corner. You want to ban me? Go ahead and Ban me. Just don’t come crawling back to the Big Cat  when I’ve taken over the internet and Tebow is selling Bibles off of Highway 75 in Traxler Florida.

So go home to your bible thumping cry baby while I keep dominating life.

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Doesn’t matter if its a Crocodile or Gator, its all dinner to a Big Cat.

Mar 31 2010

Man Gives Millions To Church Because Of Pact With God

Billionaire fulfills ‘pact with God’

British supermarket chain founder gives fortune to charity

LONDON - The billionaire founder of a British supermarket chain is donating most of his fortune to charity to fulfill a “pact with God.”

Albert Gubay, a penniless candy seller in Wales after World War II, says he made a vow with God at the time to hand over half his fortune to the Catholic Church if he ever became rich.

Gubay went on to found the Kwik Save grocery chain and later accumulated development properties in Liverpool and Manchester. Now 82, the retail entrepreneur says he’s making good on his charitable promise.

Gubay, a lifelong Roman Catholic, has placed his business empire — valued at roughly $690 million, according to Forbes — into a charitable trust. Upon his death, half of that money will go to causes identified by the Catholic Church, with the other half to go to good causes selected by the trustees, BBC News reported Tuesday.

Gubay ranked at No. 880 in Forbes 2010 list of the world’s billionaires, with a total fortune worth $1.1 billion. He lives on the quiet British tax haven of the Isle of Man with his second wife and has two children with his first wife.

“I want to carry on supporting good causes, but my whole focus in the next few years is to work as hard as I can to meet my target of a 1 billion pounds ($1.5 billion) charity. Every penny wasted or lost reduces the pot available to the charity,” he told the Daily Mail.

Does this guy realize that you can break a pact with God. I mean I can’t speak for the general public but I’ve personally broken hundreds of pacts with god.

Every time I’m real hungover I tell God that I will never drink again in my life if he just makes the hangover stop. Has that ever stopped me from drinking again? Hell no.

I ask God for all kinds of shit, gambling, job promotion, nice weather. I basically have God in my fave 5, calling him all the time to get me out of jams.

So Albert, please don’t give all your money away because of a pact with God, maybe give him a taste to wet his beak and blow the rest of it on the important things in life - fast cars, women, and partying. God won’t know the difference, I promise.


If I die in the next few days I guess we’ll know God reads, Which is pretty badass if you ask me.

Mar 31 2010

Fat Guy Falls On Skateboard

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At first I didnt think this was very funny and then the guy just kept falling and falling until next thing you know hes got a face full of bumper.

Hey fatass maybe you shouldnt be taking tips from that porky ginger, he doesnt strike me as a world class skateboarder.

Mar 31 2010

79 Year Old Man Still Partying

Actor Rip Torn pleads not guilty to burglary and firearms charges in Connecticut bank break-in

By STEPHANIE REITZ , Associated Press

Last update: March 30, 2010 - 5:19 PM

LITCHFIELD, Conn. - Actor Rip Torn pleaded not guilty Tuesday to burglary and firearms charges stemming from his January arrest inside a Connecticut bank after hours.

State police have said the 79-year-old Emmy award winner was so intoxicated on the night of Jan. 29 that he broke into the Litchfield Bancorp branch with a loaded gun, thinking it was his home in Salisbury in northwestern Connecticut.

Torn is charged with criminal trespass, carrying a gun without a permit, carrying a gun while intoxicated, burglary and criminal mischief.

Superior Court Judge James P. Ginocchio allowed him to remain free on $100,000 bond, under the condition that he stay away from alcohol. Torn said he was more than happy to comply.

“Today we established with the court the excellent strides that Rip has made through his treatment,” he said.

Torn received probation last year in a Connecticut DUI case and also had alcohol-related arrests in New York in the past.

“I’ve never missed a day’s work in my life,” he said.

Rip Torn just sounds like a dude that knows how to party. The guy is 79 years old and still getting shitfaced with a gun and “accidentally” breaking into banks. I thought people stopped doing that at 24 but Rip is just breaking down barriers left and right. Who says an old guy can’t party hard? I bet Rip could drink any college student under the table, then when you’re puking your brains out he’d be hooking up with your girlfriend, showing her how a real man rolls.

Not to mention Rip has never missed a days work in his life. Kind of makes Cal Ripken look like a big pussy. Yeah Cal played all those games in a row but was he out getting DUI’s and drinking until 6 am only to wake up the next day and just dominate the shit out of the movie business. I don’t think so.

Also, was Rip’s greatest acting performance telling the judge that he would be “happy to comply” with the order to stay away from alcohol? Bullshit, Rip was probably drunk when he said that. But you can’t blame the judge, he’s dealing with a world class actor here, Rip Torn could sell ice to an Eskimo.

Thanks to Mark for the tip. If you see something funny, whether it be an email, news article, video, or even something you see yourself in public send it to [email protected]

Mar 31 2010

The Spy’s Fact of The Day

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors

Mar 31 2010

2010 White Sox Season Preview

For many, the term “hope springs eternal” applies to the giddy anticipation for another season of baseball. Maybe this is the year. Maybe things will come together and my team will make it to the series. Well unless you are fortunate enough to be a fan of one of the evil empires, or of the cubs, or just plain retarded, most of you should know going in that your team stands no chance. As a White Sox fan, I’m no different than most. Even at the onset of the most promising year, anticipation is always replaced by trepidation. I go into every season in full fretting mode, staring at a team with oddly moving parts, flashes of talent, bigger flashes of sucking and always with an insane person driving the ship. Don’t get me wrong, I love the insane person that manages the team, just like I like the angry one that serves as his boss. The Twitter and web site stuff, however, was garbage, proving that aside for a few rookies and veterans trying to reclaim lost magic, spring training is a colossal waste of time.

So, what to make of this team before it starts the 2010 season? There are things to get excited about, as well as plenty to get worried about. And in between are a whole lot of questions that could turn this season into one to remember, or one that makes us throw up all over ourselves. If you are looking for numbers, I have very few for you. I suggest consulting, a wonderful source for such things.


Starting pitching is where the biggest strength lies with the White Sox. The rotation of Peavy, Buehrle, Floyd, Danks and Garcia is easily the best in the Central Division and one of the best in the American League. They are also very bull-doggy, intense, scrappy and baseball-ee, thanks to Peavy and Danks. Expect a lot of Hawk Harrelson love for Peavy and his glares and mitt-shouting. Expect a lot of Hawk love period.

Offensively, this White Sox team looks like no other team before, more closely resembling the fabled “Ozzie-ball” that everyone seems to want, with more speed, pitching and defense and less beer-league softball power.  Speed comes with the addition of Juan Pierre, most likely your starting left fielder. I was a little thrown off by the pick-up of Pierre. To me, he’s a slap hitting out-machine, but I suppose he fits the bill as a table setter and is probably a minor upgrade from Scotty Pods, if for anything he’ll play most of the season. He’ll also steal you 30-40 bases, which is fine. The lineup overall is not full of base-cloggers like Thome and Dye, the latter who could run but would also make you think he was going to break apart turning every base. Konerko and AJ are still there, but will probably be split up by a more youthful Rios, maybe. There should be no shortage of runners moving from first to third, and sacrifices, as well as plenty of people caught stealing.

The White Sox defense has improved as well, especially in the outfield. Pierre is an improvement over Podsednick and can play angles and hops like a normal outfielder. His arm is terrible. So expect Ozzie to send out help, or put Pierre in as DH from time to time like he did with Pods. Rounding out the outfield, Rios is above average in center and Quentin should perform admirably in right field, his natural position, if (big if) he can stay in one piece. As insurance, the Sox picked up Andruw Jones, once big as a whale, but always an all-star caliber outfielder when he could pull himself away from the buffet. If Jones commits to the Ozzie plan, my ideal outfield would be Quentin, Jones and Rios. Around the horn in the infield, Konerko is solid if unspectacular and Beckham should be fine in his new spot at second. If Ozzie can keep him from drifting, I expect Ramirez to bounce back at short. Teahan should be steady at third, though he hasn’t played there a ton in the past. (Of note, one-hundred year old hall of famer Omar Vizquel backs up short.) AJ will block the plate, call a great game and throw out perhaps four baserunners all year. That’s what he does. He’s AJ.

Finally, we get to the bullpen, which features a gaggle of big hard throwing dudes, much more skilled than the 2007 version of big dudes (see Cisco and MacDougal). Closing out a game with a combination of Linebrink to Putz to Thornton to Jenks should strike fear in the hearts of opponents. This bunch will be putting up a whole lot of K’s, if they can stay healthy. Add converted infielder, possible closer of the future Sergio Santos to the mix and things could get interesting. Tony Pena (bad) and Randy Williams (left-handed specialist, meh) will round out the bullpen.

Read more »

Mar 31 2010

Pic Of The Day

Don’t Hate The Player Hate The Game. Kid is Badass

Mar 31 2010

Georgia Hooters Holding Events For Tiger Woods

Has Tiger Woods made “golf” synonymous with “T&A”? A new report reveals a new marketing scheme at the Masters next week in Augusta, Georgia, and it looks like Woods is going to face his worst demons: boobs.

It’s said that the Hooters franchise in Augusta, Georgia will throw a week-long festival with a bikini contest and special competitions for Tiger Woods to participate in if he chooses to do so.

Your move Tiger. I love that Hooters is doing this. Just a classy move, rolling out the red carpet for their favorite son. And you know Tiger is sitting at home trying to figure out how he can attend one of these contests under the radar. Its probably tearing him up inside.

Because lets face it, we know two things about Tiger. 1 he can’t resist pussy  and 2 he thinks he is invincible. So right now hes probably texting with his friends on his burner trying to figure out how he can get in the backdoor and compete in the nipple ring toss or the bikini apple bobbing.

Lets make this happen Tiger, screw the whole buddha shit. You’re a freak, and you need to let your freak flag fly.


I hope Hooters isn’t trying to lure Tiger back with the chick front right in this picture. Honey, maybe its time to hang up the cleats, no one is fooled by your curveball and your fastball can’t strike anyone out anymore.

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