Category: Reader Email

May 27 2010

Blackhawks Sweep in Impressive Fashion

I had a nice little Sunday planned out this past weekend.  Made a 10 am tee time with a couple buddies down at Jackson Park, one of the Chicago public golf courses.  We made the tee time earlier in the week and I knew it would conflict with the start of the Blackhawks game but I figured I’d get the updates on my phone and make it home in time to watch the final two periods.  What could be better on Chicago’s first hot day of the summer?  A little golf in the morning capped off by a couple ice cold beers and a Blackhawk game.  Sounds good on the outside right?  Boy did that plan go straight to hell!

Sometimes I forget that I’m not in North Carolina anymore, where I can go to the home course whenever I want and virtually walk out on the golf course at any given time.  When you play golf in a huge city you’ve first got to factor in travel time, because it’s a bitch to get anywhere efficiently no matter what time of day it is.  Secondly, you’ve got to account for the public golf course aspect.  There were a shit ton of people lined up to play and we didn’t tee off until 10:45 so I’m immediately pissed that I’m going to miss the game.  Second, the caliber of play on a public golf course is significantly inferior to that of the private variety, therefore, causing excessively long rounds.  It took us five fucking hours to finish.

“Ok, fair enough,” I thought.  “I’ll make it home for the last period.”  Not a chance!  Got stuck in traffic on the way home.  There was a huge restaurant convention in town last weekend and with it being the first really nice day there were a lot of people out and about.  In the end I got home in time for the last two minutes of the game and to see the United Center erupt with happiness.  Despite my misfortunes, there is some good that came out of this experience.

I was able to catch the last period and a half on the radio, which, seeing as how I’m pursuing a career in sports radio, I certainly did not mind.  Especially when Pat Foley’s harmonious pipes are pumping through the speakers.  What a treat it is to listen to the veteran Blackhawk broadcaster paint the picture on a warm ride home.  People say that hockey is hard enough to watch when it’s on television.  I say fuck that!  Next time you’re watching the game, mute the television and turn on your radio since we are being deprived of Foley because of the big network coverage.  If you don’t live in Chicago, stream the broadcast on your computer.

As for the game, it sounds like the Hawks came out a little flat but were able to apply some good pressure as the game wore on.  The parts that I heard certainly sounded like the Blackhawks were dominating play all over the ice.  The Hawks are playing fantastic hockey right now and the only thing that can stop them is themselves.

I haven’t seen much of the flyers this year obviously, but what I know is that they are riding an insane hot streak.  The won in a shootout to get into the playoffs, and they’ve won 8 of their last 9 games including overcoming a 3 games to 0 deficit in their last series.  Michael Leighton, the Philly net minder and former Blackhawk, has been playing very well and the Flyers have some savvy veterans in Mike Richards, Chris Pronger, and Simon Gagne.

I think the Hawks are the better team but I don’t expect this to be an easy series at all.  Puck drop is scheduled for 7 (that’s 8 for all my east coast readers) on Saturday night.  Enjoy the show!

May 20 2010

Blackhawks Run Game in San Jose!

In my last post I made reference to the size difference between the Blackhawks and the Sharks.  I was completely wrong when I said that the Blackhawks were a little bit bigger.  After taking a quick glance at the rosters it did seem that way and I thought I had punked the rest of the sports world.  Not so much.  This time, I’ve actually done the math and the Sharks have an average height advantage of about three inches and an average weight advantage of about four pounds.  However, I’m not going to apologize for misleading all of my loyal readers because it hasn’t fucking mattered has it?  The Hawks have been the more physical team by a long shot and it has given them a huge advantage.  It was great to see Ben Eager laying the wood in game one, especially since he doesn’t provide shit else out there.  That’s ok though, every team needs an effective goon.  Luckily for us, we’ve got a couple in Adam Burish and Eager.  Oh wait, is it still PC to use the term “goon?”  Actually, these days I think they’re known as “energy guys.”  Either way I’m fine with it, as the Hawks seem to be playing their best hockey at exactly the right time.

Game 1 was a grind it out effort by the Hawks but let’s be honest, without the play of Antti Niemi the Hawks are back at the United Center tied at 1-1.  I heard some sports pundits saying “it was a great defensive effort, but they gave up too many scoring chances.”  What the fuck does that mean?  While the speed, energy, and forechecking were outstanding in game 1, I thought the defense was atrocious.  Niemi had to make 44 fucking saves!  He was doing back flips in the crease!  That’s why a hot goaltender brings home the hardware.

On a lighter note, I thought game 2 was the best game the Hawks have played since the Olympic break.  It was the epitome of a “complete” game.  They played much better defense allowing only 26 shots, drew a few penalties (and actually converted one), and held the lead with some confidence.  It was the first time in a while I wasn’t sweating bullets every time the opposition got the puck.  Niemi was on fire once again, playing like a crafty veteran, and the Versteeg/Bolland/Ladd line has been a great catalyst.  Pay attention to those three and watch how hard they skate.

Now the question is, can the Hawks carry the momentum to their home ice where they have struggled all playoffs?  I think they can.  I think they’ve regained a lot of confidence throughout the last couple series’ and they’re ready to shut the door.

May 14 2010

What’s Up With This Homeless Guy?

So reader Andy sent me this pic of a homeless guy he saw on his way to work and my question is what the fuck is going on with this guy? Like is he just trying to take a nap and doesn’t want to be bothered? Is the bag on the head just the homeless man’s do not disturb sign? Or is he a Lions fan and is doing the old bag on head trick to hide his fan allegiance? Also that looks like some real nice luggage he has there, like he is rocking some luis vuitton or something.

I just have a shitload of questions for this guy that’ll never be answered, tragic.

Thanks to Andy for the tip. See something funny on the street? Take a pic and send it to [email protected]

Apr 29 2010

Reader Email - How Much Do Girls Hate TheHotGlove?

From: Girl

Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 4:50 PM
To: Big Cat

enough dick talk already.

From: Big Cat

Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 4:50 PM
To: Girl

disagree, not enough dick talk

From: Girl
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 4:43 PM
To: Big Cat

um- women are half the population- prob not smart to turn them away with all your dick talk.

So this reader email got me wondering how long the average girl spends on The Hot Glove before she boycotts the site and decides to never come back. I’m thinking that the average female reader goes through 4 steps on

Step 1 - Clicks on site, reads article, laughs her tits off.

Step 2 - Sees something about sports, ignores it

Step 3 - Reads some mention of my dick, gets insanely turned on

Step 4 - Reads something sexist, decides to never come back.

Seems about right to me. Now the question then becomes do I care if girls hate this website? On one hand I would like as many readers as possible but on the other theres just something cool about having like an internet tree house where all the bros can hang out and do awesome shit all day. Sort of like that movie The Skulls but if you added the internet and Nic Cage and made Craig T. Nelson go back to being Coach and not that stuck up prick Litten Mandrake.

Anyway, I’m going to make a conscious effort to throw the ladies of the Glove a bone once and while. So ladies, all 5 of you, consider this Bone number 1 from the Big Cat

Sandra Bullock filed for divorce or some shit, You go Girl!


Guys, knowing that all the women stopped reading as soon as I posted some gossip, I just want to say this was all bullshit, I’m never posting something like that again. Glad we had this talk, see you out there.

Apr 16 2010

Reader Email Begging Me To Keep Writing The Hot Glove

From: Sean C.
Sent: Thursday, April 15, 2010 6:34 PM
To: Big Cat
Subject: Don’t Leave The Hot Glove

Big Cat,

Saw your post about the artist. I pray that you aren’t serious about becoming an artist and leaving TheHotGlove. Reading your blog is my fourth favorite thing to do in life behind banging chicks, drinking scotch, and driving luxury automobiles.

Sometimes I even read THG while banging some of the finest women in the world. I then relax with an ice mint Marlboro and a good read of the day’s events. So please don’t leave us, I beg you.

All the Best

Your Friend,

Sean C.

Well Fuck if Sean Connery is sending me emails about TheHotGlove I have no choice but to keep this shit up. For the record I was only planning on becoming an artist as a side gig so that I could buy a couple yachts and a compound, I would never leave my post here at THG.


I guess the ball is in Ed Harris’s court now. 2/3 of the cast of The Rock has shown up, where you at Brigadier General Francis Hummel?

Apr 01 2010

Happy April Fools

Happy April Fools Everybody. One of those great days on the calendar where you can act like a total asshole and then tell everyone you were joking. Sort of like Thanksgiving and St Patty’s Day.

It’s also the true test of personality. Like the guy who’s office got boxed in (pic above), what is his reaction going to be? Is he going to flip out and be a baby? Or will he take it like a champ and work inside that thing all day. My guess is he’ll probably be a baby and cry, but that’s just a guess.

If it were me I would never take that thing down, just sit in there for the next year doing whatever the hell I wanted, because everyone knows whatever happens in a box fort cant be legally prosecuted in a US court, they teach that shit on day one of Law school, Box Fort Law 101.

Good luck to all the prankers and prankees out there and just know if you prank me I’ll cut you, straight up.

Thanks to Andy for the pic

Mar 31 2010

Reader Email - The Tebow Lovers Come Out

From: Tebow Lover (via 3rd party)
Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 1:48 PM
To: Big Cat

So I have been reading thehotglove and  I  find it very entertaining.  But you tell “Big Cat” if he ever insults Tebow again, I will officially ban the blog! hahaha. (no, but seriously.)

In the words of Patrick Swayze, Nobody puts Baby in a corner. You want to ban me? Go ahead and Ban me. Just don’t come crawling back to the Big Cat  when I’ve taken over the internet and Tebow is selling Bibles off of Highway 75 in Traxler Florida.

So go home to your bible thumping cry baby while I keep dominating life.

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Doesn’t matter if its a Crocodile or Gator, its all dinner to a Big Cat.

Mar 29 2010

Reader Email - Do You Know What PWNED Means?

From: Reader
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 12:08 PM
To: Big Cat
Subject: funny entry

ha- i like that entry! just want to say the all-caps word is spelled PWNED- i think you meant OWNED?

just letting you know . .

From: Big Cat
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 12:18 PM
To: Reader
Subject: Re: funny entry

No, it’s definitely pwned. Clearly you aren’t up to speed on your internet lingo. Like right now, I just PWNED you.

From: Reader
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 12:25 PM
To: Big Cat
Subject: Re: funny entry

wtf?! what does that mean?

From: Big Cat
Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 12:30 PM
To: Reader
Subject: Re: funny entry

pwned - “to own” or to be dominated by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force.

in a sentence - The Big Cat, who is most certainly a god like force, just pwned you hardcore.

Do people not know what PWNED means? I thought that was a common saying around the internet.

This just proves that the Big Cat is playing at a different level than everyone else.  Oh well, live and learn I guess.

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