So is that what Chappelle meant when he said he was going to a South African insane asylum? That he really was doing P90X in his living room and getting some jackhammer arms. Kind of ruins his whole skinny guy stoner schtick. Jokes aren’t as funny when a Billy Blanks look alike is intimidating you and shoving them down your throat. Not to mention Chappelle already had the nutso thing down pat. Add in this diesel look and I’m not sure he is even a comedian anymore. More just a guy making you laugh because you’re afraid he’ll snap your neck and eat your heart if you don’t.

Mermaids Are Fucking Beautiful

What The Fuck?

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other

Timing Is Everything

Feeling Good, Looking Great

A HYPNOTIST is helping lapdancers lure men into spending more money on their sexy shows. Entertainer Grant Saunders was called in by club boss Jason Armitage as takings slumped in the recession.

Girls at Cleopatra’s Lounge in Huddersfield, West Yorks, hope to keep spellbound punters forking out for £10 dances.

Grant, 34, said: “They will use a technique called anchoring. The man’s subconscious mind becomes open to suggestion as a dancer speaks to him and gives him a little touch on the shoulder or the knee.

“It’s similar to what Derren Brown does on TV to make people do things.”

But no one will be put in a trance, in the style of Little Britain hypnotist Kenny Craig - played by Matt Lucas - who used the line: “Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, not around the eyes.”

Grant said: “It’s just about making them better saleswomen.” Jason added: “My girls could earn £5,000 a week a few years ago. Now they’re lucky to make £500.”

Dancer Sabrina, 25, said: “I never say never to learning anything.”

…

I’m so torn on whether this is a good or bad thing. On one hand, hyponotism is no joke, and if these strippers use it for evil, well then we’re all basically fucked. I’m talking poor house for basically every man on this planet. But on the other hand, doesn’t this sort of become a full proof excuse for hooking up at a strip club? Like if you come home from a night at the strip joint smelling like baby oil and cheap perfume, lip stick on your collar, three sheets to the wind and your wife/girlfriend gets mad, can’t you just say, sorry honey I was hypnotized. What can she say to that? There is no comeback. If you get hypnotized all legal and moral ramifications are off. Its like going out in international waters. You had no idea what you were doing. Blame the strippers. Blame pizza face Grant Saunders for teaching them scorcery. Blame black magic in general. But don’t you dare blame me. If anything I’m the victim. Its scary to get hypnotized and be forced to have sex with a stripper. People don’t get that.

PS

Hey Jason Armitage, no offense dude, but I don’t think the recession is the only thing to blame on the diminishing returns at your strip join if you know what I’m saying.

PPS

What I’m saying is those strippers are not attractive.

Video Renting is Exhausting

When Dad Unwinds, He Really Unwinds