Don’t you dare cry German Lady. You’re too damn cute to cry.

PS

Remember when this used to happen in gym class? When the spaz with no coordination would get absolutely blitzed in the dome piece. I guess the spaz grew up and got sexy, who knew.

Yeah this is an awesome celebration, yeah the fish thing is right up my alley, but what the fuck? I thought we didnt have to watch soccer for 4 years now. I thought that was the deal. I and every other real American pretends to follow football for one month every four years and then we don’t have to bothered the rest of the time.

Seems like someone broke their side of the deal. I’m looking at you soccer.

PS

I caught a bluefish last summer that gave about 1 million times the fight this guy did. Just not that impressed.

Thanks to BF for the tip

I feel like someone just made me eat cat poop for the past 3 hours.

Hey ref, have some soccer game with those yellow cards. Way to let the players play in the championship game.

Jesus Christ what a boring game.

Well it looks like Paul the psychic is going with Spain. What a cocky little fuck this Paul guy is, 6 for 6 and he thinks he is the king of the tank.  Well not today Paul not today. You know what they say, when the whole world is betting with an octopus, go the other way.

Netherlands +270

Over 2 goals -125

Are you serious dude? Youre going to just sit there and take those Spanish players congo lining right in your grill? I mean don’t the rules of soccer say you have to at least slap these guys. What has happened to beautiful game? Is there no more passion, no more fight?

PS

In reality this German guy is just sitting there saying to himself  “you guys fucked up, Don’t you realize I’m German, I kill people for a living”. Guy probably called up Hans Gruber and had him kill the spanish player’s entire family in about 2 seconds.

Pretty sure Ghana cheated like all game long, no other explanation for losing because clearly we’re better. Oh and I’m also pretty sure ever player on Ghana has a career ending injury after they flopped for the past 30 minutes.

So long soccer, see you in 4 years.

PS

Alexi Lallas was legit crying in the booth after the game. Relax bro, it was just a soccer match.

Time for the US soccer powerhouse to keep on dominating. I have watched hours of tape on this Game and I just see no way we don’t win, we’re too fast, too smart, and too awesome for Ghana to hang with us. Just no way no how the greatest country in the world loses to Ghana, I’ll kill myself, straight up.

My prediction, USA in 1-0 dominating romp.

USA USA USA!!!!

PRETORIA, South Africa – Algeria soccer player Rafik Saifi slapped a female journalist across the face as the aftermath of the United States’ dramatic World Cup victory turned ugly at Loftus Versfeld Stadium on Wednesday night.

While walking through the interview zone, Saifi spotted writer Asma Halimi, who works for Algerian newspaper Competition, and struck her with his open hand in front of dozens of witnesses. Halimi responded by striking the player in the mouth.

Saifi then threw a sports drink bottle at a wall in the interview area, as Halimi was ushered away by security staff.

Saifi came on as substitute for the last five minutes of the USA’s 1-0 victory.

“I said nothing to him and he reached over and hit me,” Halimi said to Yahoo! Sports. “So I hit him back. I said nothing to him first.”

You’d think this guy would be a more gracious loser. Like newsflash bro you play for Algeria, pretty sure you’re job is to lose to soccer powerhouses like  USA. Act like you’ve been there before and quit slapping every woman you see. We soccer fans are not impressed.

I just feel so bad for all those Algerian kids that had their dreams of a historic tie smashed by the USA Powerhouse. I guess its their fault for ever getting their hopes up in the first place though, I mean how could a country that I didn’t even know existed until this morning honestly beat us in OUR sport. Just not possible.

So sorry Algeria, you can go back to being completely irelevant to me and my life. It was fun while we dominated your ass.

Well that last post is kind of awkward now. But I don’t really give a fuck because I’m basically the biggest US Soccer fan in this country right now, USA USA USA!!!!

Bring on some other shitty country we’ll absolutely dominate 1-0. Where I come from 1-0 is a blowout, We’re a fucking soccer powerhouse now!

PS

Can’t wait for the usual ESPN and SI articles about how soccer is going to explode in America and that its one of the major sports now.