So, I was sitting at my compter this morning anxiously reloading the ticketmaster webpage trying to get Rose Bowl Tickets (a brief aside- I need to publicly recognize the Big Cat for pulling one of the freshest moves in ticket acquisition history. Thanks to him, we’re gonna be lookin real good in that stadium) when I saw an ad for this:

Sickening...

At that point, I thought tickets had sold out and shit couldn’t get any worse…. then they did. I don’t think I need to explain any further. Luckily my old friend dropped the hot news that he scored some tickets or I may have killed myself. Close call.

You know whats crazy. That Badger fans are actually worried about this game. Are you serious? So what if Iowa always beat us, we just kicked the shit out of Ohio State, we’re the best team in the country, theres just no way we lose today.

We’re faster, stronger, and about a thousand times smarter than Iowa.

Badgers + 5 is an absolute gift. I just can’t wait to see all those corn eating hicks with frowns on their faces after Ricky Stanzi and his pretty boy hair throws yet another costly pick.

Honestly, look at this kid. Do you think he is going to beat the biggest baddest team in the country? Fuck No. Lock it up. Badgers Roll

A younger Big Cat was live at this game watching Matt Schabert become a man and Lee Evans become a legend

Terrel Pryor’s hurt, the buckeyes are a bunch of meatheads, Jim Tressel’s sweater vest looks stupid, Camp Randall is the toughest place to play in the country.

Wisconsin wins this game outright. Book it.

Wausau, Wisconsin (The Weekly Vice) - Troy Kaczor, a 40-year-old Wausau man was jailed Thursday after he allegedly jumped into the Wisconsin River to chase a one-legged goose, then had to be rescued from the cold waters. According to Wausau police, Kaczor took off his shirt and shoes and dove into the river at Big Bull Falls Park in downtown Wausau. He was attempting to catch a one legged goose in hopes of roasting it, however the hobbled goose had other plans. Investigators say Kaczor, who was heavily intoxicated, was unable to escape the river’s frigid waters and had to be rescued by Wausau firefighters. The temperature had only reached 72 that day, making the river too cold for swimming. Kaczor was booked into Marathon County Jail on prior bail-jumping charges.

If I’m troy Kazcor I honestly would just let myself die out in the middle of that lake. Fuck calling the cops and being rescued, if you get beat by a one legged goose then you have literally nothing to live for. There really is no embarrassment worse than being bested by a handicapped goose.

Its a zero sum game, either you get the goose and everyone’s mildly impressed because after all you caught a goose that can’t even walk right. Or the goose gets you and its time to call it quits on life. Kind of a litmus test for whether you can make it in the real world. Miss the Lt. Dan of the geese world and its time to give up.

PS

When I did a google image search for one legged goose there were like a million pictures. What the fuck are all these geese doing losing their legs? I mean you’d think a goose could make it through life with both legs intact, its not like theyre chopping wood down at the local saw mill or anything. weird.

WAUKESHA, Wis. — The Waukesha Common Council president Paul Ybarra calls synthetic cannabinoid, also know as K2 or “fake pot”, “a ticking time bomb.”That’s why he joined other common council members Tuesday in voting to pursue a ban on the sale of K2.So far Eau Claire, Superior and La Crosse have passed K2 bans, and Milwaukee is currently considering one.Ybarra said three stores in Waukesha currently sell it and anyone can smoke it legally.The aldermen’s unanimous vote directs the city attorney’s office to draw up an ordinance with penalties that could be enacted at the next council meeting.

and this…

The city of Madison attorney’s office has issued municipal complaints against three University of Wisconsin-Madison students with fines totaling more than $86,000 in connection with a house party the students hosted last month, Madison police said.

Madison police said officers responded to 37 N. Brooks St. shortly before 11:30 p.m. on Sept. 11 and found a couple of hundred people inside the campus-area home.

Jesus Christ, what is this kill the fun month in Wisconsin? What the hell is going on up there. This isn’t the Wisconsin I know and love. The Wisconsin where you could smoke fake pot all day and throw 300 person parties without being fined 1 million dollars.

Sad day to be a badger. First they take away your free pot and next thing you know they’ll be coming for your freedom. I mean what country do we live in if a person with fake cancer or fake glaucoma can’t smoke some fake pot to take away the fake pain? For shame Wisconsin, for shame.

Continue reading “The State Of Wisconsin Is Really Starting To Embarass Itself, Banning Fake Pot And Cracking Down On Partying” »

Fuck, I knew I went to the wrong Wisconsin University. Here I was thinking I was being all smart going to the big bad state school in Madison when I could have gotten my degree from Marijuana Pepsi Sawyer. Its like that movie sliding doors and I picked the wrong fucking door.

Fuck

Baraboo, Wisconsin (The Weekly Vice) - Jonathan Popple, a 26-year-old Wisconsin man was jailed Saturday after he reportedly smoked pot and then shot a hole into the floor, thinking he was shooting an alien.

According to Baraboo Police, officers were dispatched when a neighbor reported hearing gunshots coming from inside the building.

Officers arrived to find Popple, who explained that he had been smoking pot since waking up that day - and decided being stoned was an excellent time to clean his gun.

Investigators say Popple described a sudden sensation of standing on a rock, looking down at an alien he had seen in a movie. That’s when he reportedly pointed his gun at the aberration and fired. The bullet reportedly went through Popple’s floor and into the basement.

Popple said he snapped out of it enough to realize that his brother was in the basement, so he ran downstairs to make sure he was okay.

When officers searched the premises for the alien inducing pot, Popple reportedly complained that he owed money for it, and that if they took it he wouldn’t be able to pay what he owned.

Popple was booked into the Sauk County Jail on charges of possession with intent to deliver and possessing a firearm while intoxicated. Popple remains incarcerated despite a $250 bond.

What the fuck is wrong with Jonathan Popple? I’m not talking about smoking weed all day and then deciding to clean your gun. That’s just an average day in Wisconsin. I’m talking about not killing that fucking alien. Like how do you miss an alien when its literally right in front of your face? You own a gun, I assume you’ve shot said gun many times before, so how the fuck do you blow your one shot at a real live alien. Honestly, if I was Jonathan Popple’s brother I wouldn’t even be mad I almost died. I’d be pissed we didn’t have an alien to hang on our wall next to the moose and deer head. It would really tie the room together having ET strung up in the trophy room.

PS

How bad is it that he can’t get out of jail on a $250 bond. That’s some shitty friends right there. His buddies were probably like we can get Jon out of jail or we could go shoot pool, drink some miller lite, talk about aaron rodger’s haircut and crush a thousand pounds of cheese curds. I guess when you put it that way its kind of a no-brainer.

The good news is senior offensive lineman Josh Koeppel escaped serious injury in a mishap Monday morning. He was treated and released from the hospital with a variety of bumps, bruises and cuts but nothing more.

Koeppel had been battling for the starting center job with Ferentz’s son, James, but the coach said Tuesday at his weekly news conference that he doubts Koeppel will be in uniform Saturday when the Hawkeyes open the season against Eastern Illinois.

See, I told everyone. Don’t fuck with the Badgers this year. It’s destiny. God is on our side. Badgers will take care of their opponents on the field and God will take care of them off. There’s no other explanation for our biggest rival’s center getting his dick smashed in while he rides around on his cute little scooter right before week 1.

La Crosse, Wisconsin (The Weekly Vice) - Stephanie “Candy” Hennessey, a 20-year-old online escort, was arrested after she allegedly borrowed a client’s car and never returned….until police found her at another hotel.

According to Wisconsin police, a man hired Hennessey for a date through an online dating service. He stated that he paid her $80 on two separate occasions for lap dances at his apartment, loaned her $40, and even bought her dog food.

Investigators say the man then let Hennessey borrow his 1999 Ford Taurus, on the condition that she returned it by 5 a.m. The man ultimately contacted police several days later after Hennessey failed to return the car or any of his messages.

Hennessey was located at an Affordable Inn motel. A check of her record indicated that she had never obtained a Wisconsin driver’s license.

When the vehicle was finally returned to the man, it was trashed. To make matters worse, Hennessey reportedly found the man’s check book and forged checks in his name totalling $225.

Hennessey was booked into the La Crosse County Jail on charges of operating a vehicle without the owners consent, second offense operating a vehicle with out a license, and bail jumping.

Hennessey has been additionally charged with forgery, theft, theft movable property (less than $2500), credit card theft less than $2500, and credit card fraudulent theft. Bail was initially set at $1,000.

I feel kind of bad for this guy. I mean clearly he and “Candy” Hennessy have shared some real good times together. Probably had some pretty deep conversations about 18^th Century French Literature over a couple of lap dances and some cheese curds. Nothing says turn on to a call girl than some grinding, Wisconsin brats, and a little Voltaire and Rousseau. So its not like he was giving a complete stranger his car. I mean if he gave Candy the car on the first lap dance then I would say he’s a fool but they’ve met multiple times (2) and he even bought her dog food. If that doesn’t scream budding relationship then I don’t what does.

So it probably stings that a person he knows so intimately and trusts so well, a long time friend, would burn him this bad. Kind of illustrates how fucked up the world is these days. I mean if you can’t trust a call girl you’ve had grind on your dick on two separate occasions with your car and blank check book, then who can you trust these days???

PS

The police report said the 99 Ford Tauras was trashed. Ummm, sorry to break it to you guy but it’s a 99 Ford Tauras, its not like she trashed your Maseroti. She did you a favor by trashing that shit, time to upgrade to something a little more this century.

Since you live in La Crosse Wisconsin may I suggest maybe a Mitsubishi Galant with some spoilers and Packer decals, shit will be bangin in La Crosse, no more online call girls for you.