Ok Cleveland, We Get It, Lebron Screwed You, Its Time To Move On

I didn’t think I would ever get to this point but I have. Cleveland needs to shut the fuck about Lebron. Enough is enough. Yes Lebron is an asshole. Yes he boned you over on national television. Yes there is nothing else going on in Cleveland so it sucks that much more. But at some point you need to have a little personal pride. A little self respect.

Its always awkward when a break up happens and one person just can’t move on. Well guess what Cleveland, that’s you. What is left to prove? You’ve said all that can be said. He’s not coming back, he’s not going to apologize. Follow your owner’s lead and get mad, start guaranteeing championships even if there completely outlandish claims. That’s how you act. You say, fuck you lebron, you’ll never have it as good as you did here. Not complain about how Lebron is a dick 10,000 times. Move on, karma will catch up to Lebron eventually. No need to act pathetic.


How quickly Cleveland forgets all the good things it has going for it. What a shame…

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I Can’t Believe Basketball Is Already Back

Well, it certainly came faster than ever but NBA is back in action tonight and you know what that means, let the year of Lebron hate begin. Oh Lebron thinks everyone is being mean to him? waaaaa. What a fucking baby. You made your bed Lebron, now lie in it while everyone screams and yells at you and calls you names. That’s the way the world works, act like a dick people will treat you like a dick. No one is buying this “you shouldn’t blame me for being me” bullshit. You’re an egotistical asshole and you’re just now waking up to that reality.

Dwayne Wade @ Celtics +2

4 comments - Latest by:

  • Lebron’s amazing and all the little bitches who are crying that he left should get over it. Btw all of you who call him names are just sad he left, so you’re basically all a bunch of pussies.

    - get a life people
  • What should LeBron do? I suggest fuck off and die.

    - Kitty Wu
  • Haha, well played schwa. Two pump chump master

    - Anonymous
  • “Well, it certainly came faster than ever”

    Rick Pitino begs to differ.

    - Schwa

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This Whole Carmelo Anthony Fiasco Is Lebron’s Fault

Readers of THG,

In the event that you are unaware, me and my buddy Eric are transplanted Denver fans. We had this conversation this morning (Mark is our friend who’s a Knicks fan):

me: if carmelo goes to the knicks, I am gonna mail lebron james feces, egg madison square garden, and mail mark forged positive herpes test results every week until one of us dies

Eric: i heard on espn last night that it isnt a question of if but when

me: I really do blame lebron

Eric:  how come

me:  because Carmelo has always been second fiddle to lebron, in high school AAU, in the draft, ROY, etc.  and he sees lebron doing it and he wants to copy him and lebron already took all the heat for being a dbag this year
next year, or whenever it is, it will just be like, “oh this is how the nba is now, stars are friends and want to play together”

Eric:  yea but then again, its the NBA who really cares

me:  I do, I care

I f’n love the nuggets.  I’m going to tell my parents to flee the city if he leaves, because it will most certainly burn.  I might even start the fire

Am I being unreasonable in directing my hatred towards LeBron rather than Carmelo? Carmelo is the one who’s basically saying he wants out, now rather than next summer.  And here is the thing: I appreciate him saying he wants out now.  I do not want to go through the year Cleveland fans did (although some of them might argue we deserve far worse in Denver by virtue of Johnny “Brett Favre may hold my records, but he can’t hold my jockstrap” Elway’s treatment of Cleveland over the years), and it’s possible we could get something decent in return (Chris Wallace is still the GM of Memphis, right? Or maybe we could get Ricky Rubio from David Kahn in Minneapolis?  There are enough bad GMs in the NBA that we should be able to make something work.).

But at the end of the day, I’ve gotta go back to what I said to Eric: if LeBron didn’t make this first move, I don’t think Carmelo makes the move.

Making matters worse, I can’t see Carmelo participating in anything like that…thing…D-Wade, Bosh, and LeBron did in Miami where they were dancing around, nodding excessively and smiling like idiots (especially LeBron).  Which in turn would make it that much easier to hate him, like that must have done for Cleveland fans.

The worst part of this right now is that I am looking at the possibility of the biggest stars in Denver being our 3rd string quarterback (Tim Tebow), the guy who owns Elway’s Steakhouse, and Chauncey Billups.  And again: I blame LeBron.  I’ve heard Big Cat say that he would probably root for the Lakers if they were playing the Heat in the Finals, and I never thought I could agree w/ that sentiment, especially after the 2009 Western Conference Finals, but I swear to god if/when we lose Carmelo, LeBron James will become my biggest enemy.  If this were a just world, Kobe would be in jail, LeBron would still be in Cleveland, and either Orlando or my Denver Nuggets would be the 2009 NBA champions.  Instead we’re in this fucked up universe where LeBron is in Miami, Kobe has won one less title than Jordan, and Carmelo is demanding a trade so he and Amare can chill.  Who’s benefitting from this? It’s enough to make me want to pull all my fucking hair out, like I did when I was 2 and my parents went out of town.  I already tried throwing a chair through the window but apparently the windows in my office are double-paned.  I feel like I just got a mound of chalk thrown in my eyes.  I feel like I need to watch Jim Sorgi’s game tape from last night on a loop while taking my talents to Miami violently, aggressively, and repeatedly in order to be able to pretend not to be pissed off.  Am I wrong here?

Your very angry pal,


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  • Just because one dip shit wrote a story, everybody is freaking the hell out. Anybody who instantly believes this story would have been a great German citizen in the late 40’s. There are other things pointing to him staying in Denver. First this is his twitter right now, “Funny how people come up with there own analysis of a situation. I tell you boy…….Unbelievable” Second he is putting his house on the market in Littleton. Ironically he has upgraded homes twice now and both times were near new contract signings. Believe me if my salary kept increasing so would my house size. He also has about 7 other places in Colorado. Third he can still sign the exact contract extension on June 30th 2011. Wouldn’t you want to make sure your team was doing the necessary things to build a championship squad before you inked your deal? Plus he can see what the new collective bargaining agreement looks like and see if he can possibly make more in future years. Fourth we will have a max contract deal to give out next year. So basically we will give Melo free reign on who he wants to bring in. Our team after next year, minus K mart, plus a max contract player, will be better than New York’s. Fifth Melo can sign a 3 year extension, putting him at the age of 29/30 upon completion. He then will be able to sign another 5 year max deal because he is 29/30. If he accepts a 5 year deal now, he will be 31/32 upon completion and nobody wants to sign a 31/32 year old to a 6 year max contract. Sixth I texted him yesterday and he replied “homie please. Why would I want to return to the east, when my only memories there is hard knock living and avoiding getting shot. Denver is my home for life, especially since I just got medical card”

    - special K
  • There still ain’t nothin like a biff rant. thoroughly entertaining. that ‘tough guy’ big cat better lock you up for a long term deal before you get caught up in a purple drank controversy down in the district.

    - Mike

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How Many NBA Legends Are Going To Call Lebron A Wimp?

Add Magic Johnson‘s voice to fellow Hall of Famer Michael Jordan‘s: Neither ever thought of combining forces the way LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh did earlier this month with the Miami Heat.

“We didn’t think about it ’cause that’s not what we were about,” Johnson said at Baruch College in New York, according to Bloomberg News. “From college, I was trying to figure out how to beat Larry Bird.”

I love it, basically every living legend from the NBA has come out and called Lebron a coward. The best part of these comments is the fact that you know this is absolutely killing Lebron. He is probably sitting somewhere on a beach in Miami listening to his entourage talk him up and convince him he made the right choice when in the back of his head he knows he fucked up.

Clearly the guy is emotional fragile. How many athletes need their ego constantly stroked like Lebron? How many athletes need organizations to hire their high school friends like Lebron? The guy needs constant reassurance, and this is the exact opposite. Every respected guy out there throwing him over the fire.

I also love that it is already clear that D-Wade is the alpha dog. I mean Lebron hasn’t said shit so far about all this criticism. D-Wade is out there defending his team and teammates every chance he gets. Have fun being second banana Lebron, at least you have those pool parties on South Beach to keep you warm at night.


Magic is at that same pool party with a fist full of rings.

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MJ Weighs In On Lebron’s Choice

Michael Jordan led the Chicago Bulls to six titles. And while he had Scottie Pippen, there is little question the Bulls were Jordan’s team. So what does Jordan, one of the best-ever in the NBA, think of LeBron James joining with All-Stars Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh to form a super team in Miami?

“There’s no way, with hindsight, I would’ve ever called up Larry, called up Magic and said, ‘Hey, look, let’s get together and play on one team,’ ” Jordan said after playing in a celebrity golf tournament in Nevada. “But that’s … things are different. I can’t say that’s a bad thing. It’s an opportunity these kids have today. In all honesty, I was trying to beat those guys.”

Pretty sure MJ just called Lebron a gigantic pussy. He probably flashed that patented MJ smile too, the one where he is basically saying I’m the greatest basketball player ever, you know it, I know it, and the whole world knows it.

Except this time it was an even bigger smile because Lebron was the only guy who could make an immediate run at MJ’s legacy and now that ship has sailed. Lebron wants to be friends with his competition, MJ would stop at nothing to kick the shit out of his opponents. Thats the difference between the two right there.

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  • Lebron can have fun playing with his buddies. He dropped himself a few notches in my book, and I used to like him too. He’ll never be Jordan, Kobe, Bird, Hakeem, Magic, etc.

    - Meatman
  • PWNED.

    “He’ll never be Jordan. “This clearly takes him out of the conversation. He can win as much as he wants to.” - Sir Charles

    - BDUB

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Bulls Sign Korver, Possibly Redick

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I love this move by the Bulls. Love it. If you watched even a half a dozen Bulls games last year you would know that one of their biggest weaknesses was shooting the three. Yeah Hinrich could get hot from time to time and of course everyone’s favorite bench player Pargo has never seen a shot he doesnt love but they didnt have a true 3 point shooter. Now they have one, possibly two if the Magic don’t match the offer sheet the Bulls sent to Redick.

Like I said earlier this week it sucks the Bulls didnt get one of the big time free agents but the goal of every offseason is to get better and they have certainly done that. A starting 5 of Rose, Korver, Deng (until he gets injured in the 3rd game), Boozer, and Noah is an extremely balanced team that will be top 3 in defense and be able to beat you in multiple ways on offense. Have to tip your hat to Paxson and Forman for not panicking and coming up with a solid backup plan to Wade, Bosh, and Lebron.

Now bring on that unbalanced team of prima-donnas, they don’t scare me one bit. Not when Kyle Korver is raining drops from Jupiter in your grill piece!!!

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The Last Word On The Lebron Debacle

Thankfully this entire ordeal can finally be put to rest. What has transpired in the past two weeks has been equal parts interesting, intriguing, and downright stupid. ESPN, like they do with almost every sports story, drove this thing down our throats, surrounding us with Lebron talk 24/7. At the end of the day while I don’t think Lebron did the smartest thing I can’t say it was a dumb decision. I mean when you actually put it in perspective he chose playing with 2 great players in Miami vs playing with mediocre players in Cleveland, Ohio.

Just take that out of context for one second and his decision was a no-brainer.

With that said the way he did it was inexcusable. To drag it out so slowly, killing the fans that loved him so much every step of the way. Then he had the balls to not even tell the Cavs front office of his decision, letting them find out with the rest of the world on national television. That right there is the definition of cold-blooded.

But at the end of the day it was Lebron’s decision and his decision alone. I think the whole legacy talk and the fact that he took the easy way to a championship is a little overblown. If the guy wants to win then he did the right thing. I don’t think Lebron will ever regret that aspect of his decision, especially if he wins multiple championships.

I do think Lebron missed the point on one thing though. It is rare today in sports for an athlete to have a home. Not a hometeam, an actual home. Most athletes dont spend their entire careers in one place, they move around from city to city as overpaid mercenaries.

But not Lebron, Lebron had a home, he had a city that loved him unconditionally and he gave that away. Yeah the Heat fans might love him but at the end of the day he is still just a hired gun. I bet in 15 years that is what Lebron will regret the most. He will have no home. He can’t be Michael coming back to Chicago or Bird visiting Boston. He is a basketball nomad by choice, and nothing can change that.

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Lebron James Prop Bets For Tonight

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I’m just hoping Tim Tebow and Brett Favre announce that they’ve been dating for the past six months at 8:59 pm tonight. I’m pretty sure Bristol, CT would spontaneously combust, either that or Peter King would literally melt into a grande mocha skim non fat double shot latte. Win-Win.

Here are my” Lebron James the decision” aka “Lebron James - I’m the biggest piece of shit on the planet” prop bet picks.

1. Lebron James signs with Cleveland +240

2. Number of  people in Lebron’s entourage Over 6.5

3. Number of Miami Heat fans before Wednesday morning Under 50.5

4. Number of Miami Heat fans after Wednesday morning Under 51.5

5. Number of people in the world who actually still like Lebron James Not counting Lebron James Under .5

Instant analysis after Lebron makes his pick, that is if the world doesnt explode.

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Does Lebron Realize He Is Being A Huge Asshole?

This is an honest question. I understand that he is being a smart business man because everyone in the world, including yours truly, will be tuned in at 8 pm tonight. But with that point aside, do you think Lebron even for one second has thought about how insanely egotistical and ridiculous this whole escapade has become? I’m guessing no one in his notorious “camp” will ever tell him that he’s being a dick. That probably doesn’t happen when you surround yourself with a bunch of 25 year old yes men. So the question is, is there anyone in the world that can tell Lebron to cut the shit and stop acting like a complete and utter dickhole?

I mean does Lebron actually think that by doing this whole special people will like him more? It’s the exact opposite, everyone I have talked to dislikes Lebron more because of his “special”. And with good reason, there is no way he doesn’t come across as being a huge asshole. If he stays in Cleveland he was a complete asshole for making this whole process his personal dog and pony show for the past 2 weeks and if he leaves he is an asshole for betraying his hometown. Either way Lebron James, you lose.

So why the hell even do this thing? So that you can really stick the knife into the 4 fan bases that don’t get the “privilege” to watch you play every night. That’s fucked up.

Lebron clearly is doing this for two reasons. 1) Lebron never got to do the college recruiting thing, so this is his chance to be wooed and have his national signing day moment, and boy is he milking it. 2) The more and more we get to know the real Lebron the more we learn that he doesn’t care about basketball as much as he cares about his image. Being a global icon is first, being a great basketball player is second.

So I guess when you put it all together it makes sense, I just wish someone had the balls to tell him to stop this bullshit and just play basketball. I like Lebron the basketball player about a million times more than I like Lebron the 25 year old egotistical asshole.

For the record I’m still hoping he comes to Chicago, but my pick is still Cleveland.

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  • Great, I never knew this, thanks.

    - Medical Billing
  • Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!

    - Pharmacy technician program
  • Just uncovered this gem on YouTube:

    LeBron farting on Varajeo

    - willkav
  • Lebron is just a mix of Tom Brady, Richard Gear, and a french woman

    - fat bastard
  • this shit is RIdiculous.

    I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a player to NEVER win a title more than I want Lebron to join the likes of Barkley, Ewing, Stockton & Malone.

    - willkav
  • I agree about Durant. The thing is I WAS a big Lebron guy. But the past 3 months both on and off the court has made me hate him.

    - Big Cat
  • Its miami, he needs to be with his “friends”, whatever the fuck that means.

    - Kev B
  • Lebron is a piece of shit. That is all.

    - BW
  • That’s why Durant quietly re-upping yesterday was so nice. Read Whitlock today and Adrian Wojnarowski (yahoo) from yesterday for some good backlash.

    - Meatman

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Breaking News - Wade and Bosh To Sign With Miami Heat

ESPN - Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh are teaming up together on the Miami Heat, according to a person with knowledge of the situation.

ESPN’s Shelley Smith also reported the pending move through independent sources.

Whether LeBron James, the kingpin of this summer’s celebrated free agent class, will join them remains to be seen. James will announce his decision Thursday night at 9 ET during a one-hour special on ESPN.

Wade and Bosh are expected to announce their decision on Wednesday, according to the source.

James or not, the Heat could emerge as one of the top teams in the Eastern Conference with Wade and Bosh aboard. Wade, who led the Heat to the NBA title in 2006, is re-signing with the club, while Bosh will leave the Toronto Raptors after seven years with the club.

Both players are expected to get the maximum amount allowable under the league’s collective bargaining agreement, though the addition of James could change the players’ salaries. Contracts cannot be officially signed until July 8.

It was not immediately clear whether Bosh will sign with Miami outright or join the Heat through a sign-and-trade deal. Bosh could earn $125 million over six years via sign-and-trade, but only $96 million over five without it.

Well this doesn’t come as a complete shocker. I think when everyone ran down the possible scenarios for this summer the most likely outcome was Wade and Bosh pairing up in some fashion. I do think Wade was closer than people think to coming to Chicago but in the end he had to stay in Miami. Signing with the Heat gives him an extra 30 million, which makes a big difference when you’re in the middle of a messy divorce.

As for Bosh, my guess is his first choice was always to play with Lebron in NY, New Jersey, or Chicago but Lebron refused to leave. When it became apparent that he couldn’t persuade Lebron to another destination his next best option was to join Wade down in South Beach. Bosh finally gets what he wants, money and to be play for a contender, not to mention going from Toronto to Miami is a pretty big lifestyle upgrade. The big question for this deal is whether or not Miami can work out the sign and trade. If they can they will have a lot of flexibility finding veterans and role players, if they can’t the Michael Beasley experiment trudges on. Either way this team is an instant contender in the East along with Boston, Orlando, and wherever Lebron signs.

What does this mean for the Bulls?

Looks like it is all or nothing now for the Bulls, either Lebron is coming or they miss out on all the big free agents with only Carlos Boozer left to sign somewhere. Pretty big disappointment if that’s the case considering every expert had the Bulls as the frontrunner to land at least 2 of the Big 3 free agents. I still think adding Boozer will make the Bulls are a very good team but no Lebron, no Wade, and no Bosh definitely is a kick in the groin for Chicago.

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  • Still plenty out there for Chicago. A front court of Boozer and Noah with Lee of the bench would be quality.

    - BW
  • True, but when you clear as much cap space as the Bulls combined with the free agents available, its still a big dissapoinment

    - Hank Baskett
  • Honestly, you guys have nothing to complain about. David Kahn is not your GM, and you actually have a promising player or two on your roster.

    - Jay
  • Boozer and Reddick would not be terrible, Lee and Korver would be a disaster.

    - Big Cat
  • Boozer and Reddick, Lee and Korver . . . I think I’m going to throw up. And this means that no one yet looks better than LA.

    - Meatman

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