The Daily Would You Rather


Would You Rather Skip instead of walk or run instead of walk everywhere you go?

I hate running. Its boring, it hurts, its not fun, and people who do it for sport suck. If you run as your only form of physical activity you are basically admitting to the world that you’re a spaz and too uncoordinated to play any sport. Thats not me being mean either. Thats a fact. Everyone is laughing at you behind your back because you cant catch a ball or make it rain from 3. Fact. But, with that said, I think I would choose running here for one reason. Whenever you see a guy running in work clothes or regular street clothes you think 1 of 2 things. 1) Wow, he must be super important to be running in that suit or 2) Wow, he must have just committed a crime, what a badass. So as much as running sucks, I’d rather have people think I’m super important/badass than be comfortable and have everyone think I’m a tool.

Pick - Run everywhere

Skip Instead Of Walk vs Run Instead Of Walk

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The Daily Would You Rather


Would You Rather Live The Rest Of Your Life With No Teeth Or The Rest Of Your Life With Hiccups?

I don’t think anyone can quite understand what having the hiccups forever would feel like? It has to be the most frustrating feeling in the world. I get ripshit mad when I have the hiccups for over 10 minutes. And yes I totally understand the importance of fully functioning teeth but plenty of people live without teeth. The whole south lives without teeth. So to me this is a no-brainer. I’ll take no teeth and move to Florida. Besides, think of some of the benefits of having no teeth. No one can kick your teeth in during a bar room brawl. You can do as much meth as you want without the fear of losing your teeth. Sounds like the world is your oyster when you’re teethless. No one expects anything out of you, ever.

Pick - No Teeth.

No Teeth vs Hiccups For Life?

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The Daily Would You Rather

Would You Rather Be Puked On Once Or Have Every Cup Of Soup You Eat For The Rest Of Your Life Have Urine In It?


Who the fuck eats soup anyway? I feel like soup is for french people and the elderly. Have you ever seen a normal adult eat a cup of soup? Yeah me neither. Soup people give me the creeps. Eat a meal. Or better yet have  some chili. But soup? No thanks. So this one is real easy for me. As much as I love getting vomited on I’ll choose the soup and never eat another drop of soup again in my life. Basically no change from my current life.

Pick - Urine in my soup

Urine in your soup, or vomit on your face?

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2 comments - Latest by:

  • One word: Pledgeship. You’ve already had at least one of these happen to you.


    - Other Jake
  • Panera Bread Bowls, otherwise soup sucks


    - fat bastard

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The Daily Would You Rather

Would You Rather Run Your Tongue Down 10 Feet Of New York City Pavement Or Stick Your Tongue Directly Into A Stranger’s Nostril.

….

Whats the chances if you run your tongue down a NYC block you’ll end up licking some form of bodily fluid? It has to be 100% right? Blood, shit, piss, jizz. Something along those 10 feet will be on your tongue by the end. Its inevitable. So is that worth possibly getting sick from someone’s nose? I feel like it is. Because putting your tongue in someone elses nose isnt about getting sick, its about being a booger eater. Everyone knew the kid growing up, the one who would secretly eat his own boogers, and even though we’ve all “hypothetically” grown up, the booger eater will always be the booger eater. He could be president or travel to Mars but at the end of the day he’ll still be that kid who ate his own boogers. So at the risk of becoming that guy I’ll take that block, cross my fingers, and pray for piss/poop instead of blood/jizz.

Pick - Tongue on a NYC block.

Tongue Down a NYC Block or Tongue In A Stranger's Nostril?

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1 comment - Latest by:

  • I feel like I must have already seen the big cat put his tongue in someone else’s nose, no?


    - Jake

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The Daily Would You Rather

Would You Rather Run Head First Into A Rhino’s Butthole Or Lay Under A Giraffe While Its Giving Live Birth.

I guess I should have expected this when I first started Would You Rather. Shits naturally going to get weird. And as weird as this one seems I actually think its a no-brainer. Watching a live birth is just about the most disgusting thing you can do. I don’t care if its a Giraffe live birth and Giraffes are cute as fuck. The birthing process is gross. If it was up to me we would all just go back to the whole stork delivering a baby myth. Way better visual.

Pick - Head first into a Rhino’s Butt

h/t Big Daddy

Would You Rather Go Head First Into A Rhino's Butthole Or Lay Under A Giraffe During Live Birth?

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The Daily Would You Rather

Would You Rather Have A Tarantula In Your House For The Rest Of Your Life Or A Snake?

Both of these things scare the fuck out of me. Could you imagine just sitting on your couch and having a tarantula crawl on the back of your neck. Or taking a piss and seeing a snake slither out from behind the toilet? I’d probably die right on the spot. But at the end of the day if you had to have one or the other and you weren’t allowed to kill either whats the choice? On one hand a tarantula moves slower therefore I feel like you could avoid it if you constantly were moving. But on the other, the tarantula can climb walls and drop on your face. Mortifying or if you’re a stuck up dickhead when it comes to english rules, Scary.

So as crazy as living with a snake sounds, I think that’s the only option here. Just stand on chairs for the rest of your life and let the snake do whatever it is snakes do.

Pick - Living with a snake

Would You Rather Live With A Tarantula Or A Snake?

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6 comments - Latest by:

  • I love snakes and taranches. Can I have both? <3 <3


    - crow
  • Thank you. Apparently I’m a stuck up dickhead when it comes to english rules, whatever those are..


    - Big Daddy
  • Haha, great call Big Daddy. I noticed that as well.


    - Schwa
  • Well that certainly is mortifying now isn’t it?

    Snake is poisonous, not instant death poison, but poison nonetheless


    - Big Cat
  • you know mortifying means embarassing, right?


    - Big Daddy
  • Is the snake poisonous or no?


    - Other Jake

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The Daily Would You Rather

Would You Rather Unexpectedly Wind Up In Jail Or The Hospital?

So you wake up one morning, no clue what happened, no clue how you got there, no clue why you got there. Jail or Hospital? As crazy as this sounds I think I would rather wake up in jail for one simple reason. If you’re in jail, you know you had fun at some point along the way and although it sucks to be in jail at least you aren’t a pussy. Whereas if you’re in a hospital its not only gross because hospitals are disgusting, but at some point in your journeys your body just gave up on you and got you hospitalized. Unacceptable. Not to mention, as Ive said many times before, chicks dig guys with felonies. Thats just science.

Pick - Jail

Send Would You Rathers to [email protected]

Wind Up In Jail Or A Hospital

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The Daily Would You Rather

Have Pink Eye for the rest of your life or have a tattoo on your face?


You ever have one of those hungover mornings where you wake up and look in the mirror and your eyes are completely bloodshot and look like shit. Then you convince yourself that you 100% have pink eye and start retracing your steps trying to figure out who’s butthole you put your eyeball in. Well I think that would have to be the play here. Just tell everyone its not pink eye, that you just party too hard and get really bad hangovers. Kind of get instant respect right there. Whereas having a tattoo on your face really only works if you aspire to be a professional boxer or drug dealer. Kind of limits your options in life.

Pick - Pink Eye

Send Would You Rather suggestions to [email protected]. And make them at least somewhat difficult, not like the one I got emailed yesterday.

Would you rather never be able to read another book or see another movie?

1 comment - Latest by:

  • Haha, that extra would you rather is great. Obviously the person had no idea you’re illiterate


    - KD

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The Daily Would You Rather

Spend A Week Vacation Alone With James Gumb (Buffalo Bill) Or Francis Dolarhyde (The Tooth Fairy)?

The ultimate creepfest here. Just two of the most evil/perverse minds out there. I think their craziness is a wash. Both clearly have a screw loose. So the tiebreaker in my mind comes down to Francis Dolarhyde’s strength, guy is ripped to shit, vs. the likelihood of Buffalo Bill getting naked, tucking his dick in, and walking around with his mangina. It would be creepy to have to watch Buffalo Bill act like a pervert but at least you know that when push comes to shove you could probably take him in a fight. No such luck for the tooth fairy, he’d probably just strap you in a wheelchair and fuck with you for a week straight like he did to Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Pick - Buffalo Bill (I’m already creeped out)

4 comments - Latest by:

  • I think this is the best would you rather so far. Let’s forget about the inevitable cons for a second…

    Dolarhyde Pros:
    -Mansion,
    -Home-theater system,
    -Tigers,
    -Gym in the attic,
    -Art appreciation
    ——————-
    Gumb Pros:
    -Sound system,
    -Moth farm (pro?),
    -Sewing lessons.

    Gotta go with Frank D. I think if I was hanging with Buffalo Bill we’d be moving furniture all weekend.


    - G
  • That song just ruined my day


    - TJ
  • Probably could just slip this song in a cassette player ol’ Bill’s got lying around somewhere, and sneak out the backdoor while he just can help himself.

    Pick: Buffalo Bill in a landslide

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_DVS_303kQ


    - Bones Blvd
  • You’ve officially lost it. Just look at the picture, I wouldnt want to be in the same state as Bufallo Bill


    - Dubya

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The Daily Would You Rather

Would You Rather Marry Winnie Cooper Or Topenga?

Heavyweight fight right here. Two of the on screen girls any kid growing up in the 90′s had a serious crush on. I’m giving the slight edge to Winnie on looks, something about that foreign but I don’t know where she’s from look. But as for personalities, Winnie always struck me as stuck up, like she always thought she could do better. Whereas Topenga on the other hand, sexy as hell in her own right, is a lot more grounded. I mean she passed up Yale for Pennbrook College. Who the fuck does that? Only cool chicks.

Pick - Topenga

PS - I just remembered Topenga proposed to Cory. Yikes, talk about cracking the whip, you think that type of girl will let you watch 10 hours of football on Sunday? Hell no.

I’m changing my vote to Karen Foster from Step by Step.

4 comments - Latest by:

  • Al Lambert, dime-piece.


    - Go Buckeyes
  • Is winnie cooper the same girl from Waynes World? If yes then I want winnie cooper


    - El Hombre
  • I’m with rooster, topenga is sexy as hell


    - Anonymous
  • Not even a debate, give me Topanga’s DSLs every day for the rest of my life


    - rooster

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