Reason Number 7,382 You Never Want To Go In The Water Again - Introducing The Ball Cutter Fish

(Source) This is the ferocious ‘Ball Cutter’ fish which has killed two men by biting off their testicles. A British angler has told how he snared a predator known to feast on the testicles of men. Jeremy Wade, 53, spent weeks fishing in remote Papua New Guinea after locals told him how a mysterious beast was castrating young men in the area’s waters. He finally caught the perpetrator: the Pacu fish, known locally as The Ball Cutter. Jeremy wrestled the 40lb monster on the floor of his boat and opened its snapping jaws with his bare hands to discover a set of human-like teeth. The Ball Cutter boasts an impressive set of gnashers, which tear off the testicles of unwitting anglers and swimmers, leaving them to bleed to death. Jeremy, from Bath, Somerset, told how he reeled in The Ball Cutter as part of his new series of River Monsters, aired on ITV next week.

I always say, look at that fish, it looks like it wants to eat my dick and chew on my balls. And everyone always says oh Big Cat, you stupid dumby, fish are more scared of you than you are of them. In which I reply, oh yeah? Well what about the Ball Cutter fish? You think he doesn’t want to chomp on my testicles? Of course he does. That’s all he wants to do. He probably can’t even swim. He’s probably not even a fish. His only goal in life is to eat people testicle first.

Seriously though, fuck god for creating shit like that. Total dick move G.


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