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Things we know about Harold Jett.

1. He likes Bandanas

2. He LOVES America

3. Beans are an important part of his diet, so much so that they have been featured as his profile picture not once, not twice, but three times.

4. He has a dog that he loves although slightly less than beans.

5. He has a handlebar mustache.

6. He is without a doubt the most macho man on facebook.

“Did you know human beings only use 10-20% of their brain? Could you imagine what would happen if you tapped into the other 80%?”

I want to be a VIG so fucking bad it hurts. Did you see Bobby VIG Vigeant use the other 80% of his brain? The part that dances with his shirt off, rides in stretch limos and cuts up watermelons with samurai swords? That’s the part of my brain I’ve been missing. The macho VIG part. I’m not even trying to be funny either. If I don’t become a VIG by the end of this year I’m going to die.

To say I want to be an Agressive Accroskier would be the understatement of the year. I can barely regular ski and I already know my destiny is professional Accroskiing. You saw what I saw. There is no one cooler on the face of this planet than an Accroskier, espeically one dressed in a purple and neon ski suit. Its like all the cool things about ballet combined with all the macho things about skiing. Accroskiing, I’m so fucking jealous right now.

PS
I’m officially off Soccer.

“There are 18 world records in this sport and I hold all 18″

When I first watched this video I thought, whatever dude, stop blowing smoke up my ass with your tough guy gun skill talk. No way I can actually be impressed by Bad Bob. Well, I think I have never been more wrong in my entire life because Bad Bob is the baddest motherfucker around. And I actually can’t decide what I’m more impressed with. Bob’s gun skills or his cockiness. Guy has swag like you wouldn’t believe. Probably the cockiest guy in the world and he backed ALL of it up. He said he was faster than the speed of light and he wasn’t lying. Fucking Bad Bob, so macho I can’t even stand it.

PS

“Fast draw is the fastest thing in the world. No one does anything faster than what I do with guns”

Bad Bob obviously never saw the first time I had sex.

YORK, England –  A British soldier killed by a Taliban bomb in Afghanistan left $161,500 in his will — so his friends could go on vacation to Las Vegas, The Sun reported Monday.

Royal Marine David Hart, who had taken out a $403,800 life insurance policy before he was deployed to Afghanistan, stipulated in a letter that in the event of his death, his friends and their partners should travel to Sin City for a massive party in his memory.

“In his letter David said he had had a great life and had no regrets about anything. He always said he would do something like this if something bad happened,” friend Andy Hare said. “He said, ‘Go and have a good time and spend all this money.’”

Now, one year after 23-year-old Hart’s death, 32 friends will fly to Nevada to honor his final wishes.

Hart, a combat medic, also set aside money for his family as well as $80,700 for a charity for wounded Marines.

“He was the best brother I could have wished for,” Sarah Hart, 27, told the newspaper. “He was caring, funny and had an infamous grin. He would always be there for you. I’m proud to have been his sister and of his career as a commando.”

Lt. Col. Paul James characterized Hart as the “perfect Marine — magnificent and in personality and profession.”

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You can not, without a doubt in my mind, find a better friend than David Hart. This is so badass I’m kind of at a loss for words. Not only did he die protecting people’s freedom but he then went on to leave the greatest will in the history of the world. Go ahead guys, have the best party of all time on me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something like this. Most people talk about doing something like this, but to actually carry through with it and give your friends 160 k with the only wish being that they blow it on gambling and booze and partying their dicks off is unmatched. I wish I could say I would do something like this but I won’t. It takes a special level of cool/macho to pull this off, something I know I don’t have.

PS
I think the best part about this gift is that you basically are cementing your legacy as a larger than life figure for the rest of time. No one will ever talk shit about you, not that talking shit about dead people happens all that often but I bet it does. But not for David Hart. Every time his name is mentioned everyone will pour one out and talk about him like he’s William Wallace. Badass.

Well we have now gone 2 full days without the genius of Randall Mario Poffo on this earth, can’t say its been easy, can’t say there haven’t been tears, but if I know Randy Savage, and I don’t but I sort of do, I know he wouldn’t want it this way. He would want us to celebrate his career in all its glory. So in fitting fashion, Macho Man Monday celebrates the Original Macho Man.

All time great entrance music. Bonus points for Elizabeth being such a babe

I HATED Jake the Snake. Ultimate Creep.

Continue reading “Macho Man Monday” »

(Newser) – The elite special forces team that took down Osama bin Laden is getting lots of credit, but the Sun reminds us that a four-legged member of the team helped, too. One bomb-sniffing dog, probably a German shepherd or Belgian Malinois, took part in the raid. It likely dropped out of a military chopper onto bin Laden’s compound strapped to a human handler and protected with armor, then sniffed for booby-traps in the room-by-room raid.

Dogs have been playing a bigger role in special ops missions overseas, notes the Sun. Some wearing oxygen masks get dropped into hostile environments from planes to seek out insurgents and attack anyone with a weapon. They also have cameras strapped to their heads that beam back live images to troops. See the Dogster blog for a photo of what a special ops “hero dog” looks like.

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Now let me ask you a question. Do you think a cat would ever go to a war? Do you think that fat tabby you saw on youtube sitting in a box chasing a feather would ever jump out of plane so that it could sink its titanium teeth into a terrorist? Do you think that dumb kitten jumping at the laser beam would be able to sniff out a bomb? Not a fucking chance in hell. These dogs right here are the pinnacle of the animal kingdom. I don’t care if they aren’t technically on the top of the food chain because they are in my eyes. Loyal, trustworthy, and bad to the bone. Macho and obedient. Fucking dog soldiers. Badass.

PS
And I know this isn’t technically a macho “man” but lets face it, these dogs are cooler and worth more to society than 99.9% of us.

h/t fat bastard

(Source) The military team that killed Osama Bin Laden is an elite special forces group unofficially called Seal Team 6.

Officially, the team’s name is classified and not available to the public, technically there is no team 6. A Tier-One counter-terrorism force similar to the Army’s elusive Delta group, Team 6′s mission rarely make it to paper much less the newspaper.

It shows how important the publicity about Bin Laden’s killing is to the U.S. that this morning, Team 6 is front pages news.

The members of Team 6 are all “black” operatives. They exist outside military protocol, engage in operations that are at the highest level of classification and often outside the boundaries of international law. To maintain plausible deniability in case they are caught, records of black operations are rarely, if ever, kept.

The development of SEAL Team 6 was in direct response to the 1980 attempt to rescue the American hostages held in Iran. The mission was a terrific failure that fell apart at many points and illustrated the need for a dedicated counter-terrorist team capable of operating with the utmost secrecy.

The Team was labeled 6 at the time to confuse Soviet intelligence about the number of SEAL teams in operation at the time. There were only two others.

Team 6 poached the top operatives from other SEAL units and trained them even more intensely from there. Even among proven SEAL’s the attrition rate for Team 6 is reported to be nearly half.

There are no names available for current Team 6 members, but the CIA does recruit heavily from their numbers for their Special Operations Group, so it makes sense that they were chosen to work with the CIA on this mission.

Team 6 is normally devoted to missions with maritime authority: ship rescues, oil rigs, naval bases or land bases accessible by water. There are no waterways near Bin Laden’s compound.

When a former Navy SEAL was called for a comment about this article all he could say was: “You know I’d love to help you man, but I can’t say a word about Team 6. There is no Team 6.”

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Well this was the easiest Macho Man Monday ever. Talk about a no-brainer. I’m actually considering discontinuing Macho Man Mondays because no one could ever live up to this machismo. Its beyond badass, its being badass for a living. That’s your job. You wake up in the morning and you do macho things, namely kill international terrorists that have been hiding for 10 years. And of course we’ll never learn there real identities but whoever they are and wherever they go, they know that they are the most macho men on planet earth. That’s a fact.

PS

Brooks Faulkner is like the guy who takes the first shot at opening the pickle jar. He totally loosened it.