The Daily Would You Rather

Would you rather work on MLK day or not work on MLK day?

Real tough one today. Yeah not working is kind of cool, sitting on the couch, doing shit you like to do, sleeping in. But when you really think about it that stuff is kind of over-rated. Isn’t putting numbers into an excel sheet and answering phone calls all day about a thousand times more fun? I say yes. In fact if I could just forego any weekends for the rest of my life that’s probably what I would do, work is that fucking awesome.

Pick - Working on MLK day when the rest of the world has it off.

1 comment - Latest by:

  • Just woke up from a nap, what’d I miss?

    - TJ

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The Daily Would You Rather

Would you rather spend a year repeating the 3rd grade (at your current age) or spend a month in jail for a crime you didn’t commit.

I know the instant thought here. That spending a year with a bunch of 8 year olds, dominating them in sports, and being the big man on the elementary school campus is far far better than jail and the possibility of your manhood being taken from you many many times. Well fuck that. Its one month. Show up, do something completely insane and spend the entire month in the hole. If andy dufresne can deal with it you can too. I honestly think I would kill myself if I had to be with 25 eight year olds for an entire year. Little kids freak me out. They’re like miniature people but really stupid and gross . I can’t handle that.

Pick - 1 month in jail

4 comments - Latest by:

  • 3rd grade = daily Dunkaroo snacks. Enough said.

    - Jake
  • I suppose we are supposed to assume that veronica vaughn is not our teacher. Cuz obviously that totally sways the argument if we have a hot third grade teacher. Either way I’m taking third grade and maybe then i could improve on my handwriting which is still at a 2nd grade level.

    - Anonymous
  • Would you be a felon for the rest of your life? That’s the deal breaker.

    - Tim
  • Going back to elementary school would be amazing. Think about recess, that alone would be worth it.

    - Anonymous

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The Daily Would You Rather


Would you rather drive an 86 honda civic wagon but get the best parking spot every time or get a new Lambo every year and park like a normal person.

Yeah driving a lambo would be pretty badass but think about this for a second, Handicap parking without actually being Handicapped. Thats fucking gold. Who gives a fuck about Lambos, just pimp the civic out with one of those twizzler dispensers Garth rocks in Waynes World. Instant equalizer. Lambos may go fast but they dont have bottomless red rope.

Pick - Civic with magical parking.

4 comments - Latest by:

  • As a true (enough) American, fuck walking I’m lazy as shit. I’m going with the HC wagon. However in red, white, and blue/Xzhibit fashion, I would pimp the hell out of it.

    - The Boulevard Bowl '11
  • I’m gonna play the classic car edge here… In 82 years, when I’m 108, the Honda will be 100 years old, and probably the only car left from the 1900′s. I’ll be able to sell it (AND retain the rights to the gift) for at least 1 trillion dollars (after inflation). BUT, this is only because it’s a 4-door.

    - G
  • Fuck the parking spaces that civic is HOT!

    - TJ
  • bahahaha you fat fuck…parking spaces, really?

    - Anonymous

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The Daily Would You Rather

For the rest of your life Would You Rather piss your pants once a month or shit your pants twice a year?

The good old classic debate of quantity vs quality. Pissing your pants once a month would no doubt suck, and I’m sure everyone would give you a hard time but pooping your pants is sort of a dealbreaker. Like if that happens just once in the wrong crowd you’ve cemented your legacy for life. Not to mention shitting your pants isn’t exactly the easiest thing to disguise. Kind of tough to be inconspicuous about a puddle of diarrhea in your hanes. Whereas with piss you can just pretend you spilled on yourself, bingo bango, problem solved. Don’t even need to wash your jeans.

Pick - Pissing your pants once a month.

7 comments - Latest by:

  • Hambone, should have clarified, meant sober pissing/shitting of the pants. Obviously we all here will be doing the drunk version on the reg until the day we die.

    - Big Cat
  • I object to this “would you rather,” don’t all your readers get drunk enough to piss themselves at least once a month? Maybe this isn’t the blog I thought it was.

    - Hambone
  • Sheeeeeitballs. I’d take “shit your pants twice a year” in a heartbeat. Not that wetting myself constantly would be a blast, but let’s just say that the elasticity of my sphincter has yet to recover from that summer I spent in West Hollywood. Unfortunately the result had been almost weekly visits from the poo-fairy. On the plus side though, I haven’t bought toilet paper in years.

    - AJ Geiseker
  • Lampi, sounds like youve pissed yourself on more than one occasion. Kind of changes your decision if youre a pee-pants pro.

    - Dubya
  • Terrible choice. Shake pantleg over a garbage, tidy up with boxers, discard = good as new.

    Pooping 2X’s annually, all the way.

    PS - I’ve got to quit tying my actual name to these posts.

    - Lampi
  • Can you wear a diaper?

    - TJ
  • Pissing would be so much more comfortable, especially if its cold outside.

    - Anonymous

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Daily Would You Rather

Would You Rather Have An Insanely High Pitched Voice Or Only Be Able To Speak In Broken English?

Tough call. It would be one thing if you could speak broken english but also could speak another foreign language. Then its cool as much as speaking something other than American can be cool, which is not very cool. But to be able to speak broken english as your only form of communication? No Thanks. So give me that small ball, high pitched voice bullshit all day everyday. People may laugh but at least they would understand what I’m saying.

Pick - High Pitched voice

5 comments - Latest by:


    - Anonymous
  • “Have your cake and eat it too,” squeaked David Beckham.

    - El Capiflán
  • The longer version of this video with subtitles is priceless.

    - CJG
  • High pitched voice, at least everyone would have a good laugh

    - Anonymous
  • If we spoke broken english would we be able to sing like the guy in the video you just posted? Because then I’m 100% down for broken english

    - Brian

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Introducing The Daily Would You Rather

Introducing The Hot Glove’s latest and greatest daily column, Would You Rather. If you have a “Would You Rather” Question you want featured email [email protected]

Would You Rather have male pattern baldness at the age of 20 or have a full head of hair for the rest of your life but only be allowed to have a bowl haircut?

Tough call, pretty sure girl’s hate bald guys unless they’re rich as fuck, but what’s their take on bowl cuts? Like I bet 99% of females will find you gross with a bowl but there’s probably a couple of weird chicks out there that get horny as fuck for those perfectly aligned bangs. You know the type of girls that ironically listen to coldplay and drink spiced mochas. I guess if you can find one of those chicks then the bowl haircut is the way to go.

Pick - Bowl Haircut

6 comments - Latest by:

  • The real question is do I have to go back and repeat the Fifth Grade if I opt for the bowl cut option? It only seems fitting.

    - Kaison
  • Pretty sure Lloyd Christmas had a bowl cut that drove the ladies crazy. He had a bus full of beauty pageant girls sweating him…

    - DP
  • I rocked a bowl cut up until age 24 and never once got laid, so I find it hard to believe that the Mr. Clean look would be any less successful.

    - AJ Geiseker
  • Gotta go with the gallon of water…

    - G
  • Cutting your hair would be so simple

    - Anonymous
  • Baldness, just get a toupee.

    - T-Train

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