Russia Made A Caviar Vending Machine and I Didn’t Know About It - For Shame

A caviar vending machine was installed in a Moscow government office. However, the demand proved to be too high.

While ordinary people head to the office vending machines to grab a chocolate bar, Moscow’s politicians are enjoying much more luxurious snacks at work.

Moscow government officials, especially women, were delighted to see a new caviar machine with tiny cans. The success of the machine was not hampered even by rather steep prices – a 100-gram can costing $5 and a 350-gram can $22.

Unfortunately, such demand proved to be too high for the machine, which could not survive the rush of orders and broke down just two days after it was installed.

Given the machine’s success – albeit at the cost of breaking down – one might expect to see them popping up all over town. The producers, however, say that is most unlikely as each machine would need its very own security guard.

The initial plan behind such machines was to make Russia’s renowned delicacy more accessible to people. The first caviar vendor was installed in a Moscow government office in 2005 to celebrate the forthcoming New Year. At that moment, it was the only one of its kind in Russia. Now such machines are installed in several business centers in the capital. A representative of the producer said that making such a machine proved to be quite difficult because it needs rather low temperatures – about 5 degree Celsius.

Wow to say that I was sleeping on this caviar vending machine is a gross understatement. This thing was meant for my lifestyle. Because when you think of the Big Cat you think of Caviar, Champagne and Luxury. Not to mention this thing is absolutely perfect for my all white leather furniture store.

I would only make two tweaks to my caviar machine. 1) I would get rid of this whole can nonsense. Fuck that. My caviar machine is dishing it straight into your paws. People just walking around white leather with fistfuls of caviar, could it get any better than that.

And 2, no reason to waste money and electricity on these high powered extra cold caviar machines. I like my caviar at or above room temperature, and that’s how we’re serving it. So not only will my machine scream luxury it will be cost efficient as well.


No joke my dream is to one day be paid exclusively in caviar. I just feel like people would be so fucking impressed by me. Like I’ll go to buy a car and be like sorry don’t have any cash but I have 20 pounds of the finest beluga caviar known to man. They’ll just be throwing free cars at me left and right.


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One Response to “Russia Made A Caviar Vending Machine and I Didn’t Know About It - For Shame”

  • First they sponsor Pirate killing trips, now this? I gotta say Russia is really earning some points with this guy

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