Rex Ryan abruptly excused himself from his news conference Wednesday afternoon after going through the injury report. He didn’t have a nature’s calling sense of urgency look on his face, so it was clear he had some pre-planned trickery up his sleeve.

He walked back through the door a couple of minutes later wearing a rather loosely fitting brown T-shirt - size 5 XL - with a Cleveland Browns logo pasted on, a huge pillow stuffed under his shirt and, just to make sure we all knew he was making fun of his twin brother Rob, had a blond wig with flowing curls coming down from under a Browns cap. He obviously couldn’t find a grey wig.

I’m pretty sure Rex Ryan doesn’t have to stuff a pillow under his shirt to play a fat guy. Who the fuck is he kidding right now? I knew the guy was delusional thinking the Jets are the best team in the NFL but holy hell. Does he think he has a six pack too? Newsflash bro, you’re not exactly in peak physical shape.

Must be all those super bowl rings going to his brain….wait.

PS

Theres only one guy that can accurately portray Rob Ryan….

Rob Ryan

Gandalf

Separated at birth.