(source) A Pennsylvania man says he only used a prosthetic called a Whizzinator during a court-ordered drug test because probation officials made fun of his real penis.

Raymond Hartley Jr. told a Northampton County judge on Friday that it was his own, drug-free urine in the device during a random test that earned him a one- to two-year sentence for violating his probation.

Defense lawyer Anthony Rybak said his client was emasculated by comments from probation officials during previous testing and decided to use the device to avoid ridicule. Rybak says Harley “didn’t do this to trick anybody.”

The Express-Times of Easton reports that prosecutors argued Hartley never complained about the testing until after he was caught with the device.

Hartley, of Effort, was on probation for a burglary conviction at the time of the test.

I don’t know why but I kind of believe this guy. Like whats worse, maybe going to jail for using a whizzinator during a drug test or constantly  getting made fun of for your small dick by your PO officer.

I actually bet more small dicked guys have whizzinators sitting in their closet than people think. Probably take them to sporting events to avoid the humiliation when the guy who’s had 12 beers stares at your penis for just a second too long. Its kind of like fat guys wearing man bras. If you have a small dick or man boobs don’t you think you would do everything in your power to mask the situation?

So yeah maybe Raymond Hartley was trying to beat the system, but I doubt it. He’s probably had that whizzinator for a long time. Rocking that prosthetic penis to compensate for his miniature chode since grade school.

PS

If we were to assume Raymond Hartley was  lying, wouldn’t that open up an entirely different box of issues? Like if you had a regular sized dick would you tell the world you had a small dick and that your PO officer made you cry about it just to avoid jail? Yeah you may not go to jail but you’d also be known as the small dick guy around town. You would never be able to live that one down. You’d probably have to get into the witness protection program and move to the middle of Kansas, eating egg noodles and ketchup with Ray Liotta.