Introducing The Hoffsicle, The Hasselhoff Popsicle

(Source) BGT judge David Hasselhoff shows he’s got stardom licked - after being turned into an ice lolly.

The ex-Baywatch star - named smoothest TV star of 2011 in a poll - was honoured by ice cream company Del Monte with a Raspberry Iced Smoothie.

Ex-Knight Rider star David, 58, said: “The new Hoffsicle ice lolly rocks.

“Like me, it might take a licking but it keeps on ticking.”


This is when you know you have officially made it. When you’re staring eye to with a popsicle bearing your exact likeness. That’s it right there. That’s the top. So now the only question is, if you’re Hasselhoff, how many hoffsicles will you eat? Can you sustain a healthy lifestyle, flawless physique, and world renowned vocal abilities eating a diet consisting exclusively of hoffsicles? I’m probably going to eat somewhere around 10,000 hoffsicles this summer, and I think the Hoff kind of owes it to his fans to do the same.

Rasberry iced smoothie? That’s fucking disgusting. I can’t stand deserts that aren’t actually deserts. What’s the point. Its like when people eat those weird fruit strips from Whole Foods. You know the ones. The apricot leather strips or whatever the fuck they call them. Those people are such cocksuckers.


“Like me, it might take a licking but it keeps on ticking.”

Can’t call it cocky when its true. Fucking Hoff. Guy has it all and he knows it.

2 comments - Latest by:

  • Why is he eye fucking his popsicle?

    - rooster
  • is that hoff as hook? Worlds just collided

    - pk

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Every Wonder How Spider’s Get In Your House?

Yeah me too, fuck.

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Seriously? What The Hell Am I Supposed To Do With This?

This is getting out of hand. I get security and all that bullshit but what the fuck is this? Is it even English? Someone at Captcha headquarters is just fucking with us for fun now.

2 comments - Latest by:

  • Did anyone else try to click in the box like 10 times?

    - uncletim
  • job opening for captcha editor

    - jk

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I Need This T-Shirt

Putting People On Permanent Notice

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If You’re Embarassed By The Shitty Car You Drive Theres Now A Solution….

Dress up like your car seat. Boom, problem solved.

1 comment - Latest by:

  • next halloween costume

    - indy

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Fake Friends Draw On Your Face When You Pass Out Drunk

Real Friends put you in precarious situations that will most likely end in destruction of valuables and serious injury. Here endeth the lesson.

2 comments - Latest by:

  • TJ, what parties have you been going to?

    - pk
  • Beats putting your nutsack on each other

    - TJ

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Don’t Ever Complain To This Guy About Bad Luck

Not even 1 day. 6 fucking hours. Actually check that, 5 hours and 14 minutes. Thats how long this kid had left. And I know the cop is just doing his job and the law is the law and blah blah blah, but this cop is a dickhead of the highest order. 5 hours. Brutal. Only thing worse for Jesse Robinson is the fact that he lives in West Virginia, kind of makes that underage drinking ticket feel like a slap on the wrist.

3 comments - Latest by:

  • Just seeing if you were still awake Big Daddy

    - Big Cat
  • 5 hours SIXTEEN minutes.

    - Big Daddy
  • Ha, didn’t even notice it at first. Bush league

    - q

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I Need A Pizza Beret So Bad I Can Taste It

I’m generally not into berets or anything that is even remotely French, but I’m going to make an exception this one time with the pizza beret. If you can’t get laid in the pizza beret you might as well cut your dick off and throw it down a well because its never going to happen.

1 comment - Latest by:

  • Is that a jacks

    - whitey

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Should I Buy This Commemorative Arnold Schwarzenegger/Maria Shriver Vase?

(Via) Vase Details: Maria Shiver & Arnold Schwarzenegger ceramic vase. Handmade. Maria and Arnold are adorned in traditional cossack uniform of eastern Europe. Backside represents the Schwarzenegger’s four children symbolicly as horses. Collectible and unique piece for your home or office. 33″ tall.

Part of me was thinking, nah, this thing is creepy. I mean maybe when the dust settles it would be cool to own, but right now its just too soon to be rocking the Maria/Arnold vase. But then I saw the back…

Now I have to have this vase. Because the only thing more beautiful than a vase is a vase with beautiful horses. Just so fucking beautiful I can barely stand it.

3 comments - Latest by:

  • the title of this post should be “my commemorative vase will be here in 2 weeks because i already ordered it”

    - jipsee
  • Owning a white horse has to be the coolest thing someone can do.

    - Anonymous
  • those horses are necking the shit out of each other.

    - TJ

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Any Girl’s Looking For A Guy To Be Friends With? Well Your Search Is Over (Craigslist)

I don’t get what the big deal is here. Its just a 33 year old guy looking for some college girls to be friends with. Nothing more, nothing less. Completely reasonable request to make over the Internet. People need to stop being so judgemental and start being more trusting. If its craigslist, you know its safe.

4 comments - Latest by:

  • Guy looks like Donald Sutherland

    - Bones Blvd
  • His inbox must be blowing up

    - rooster
  • This legitimately scares me.

    - OJ
  • Is that a mullet? left side of his neck. I think it is.

    - ed

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