(Source) It was an inevitable twist in a tawdry tale. Following on from the almost cult-level success of the ‘vajazzle’ comes its evil twin brother, the ‘pejazzle’.

Vajazzling - the decoration of the female nether regions with Swarovski crystals - has enjoyed a surge in popularity after The Only Way Is Essex’s Amy Childs started offering the service at her beauty salon.

Since then, the website responsible for supplying crystals to the Essex salon, vajazzleme.co.uk, has reported a massive hike in sales of their ready-made crystal designs which can be stuck on at home.

Salons, meanwhile, have reported a surge in numbers of women visiting for a more professional service, where crystals are applied individually with tweezers in a bespoke design.

But as popularity of the body adornment trend has grown, it has become clear that it is not only women interested in the service.

According to salon owners, 40 per cent of customers requesting the body bling are men.

As a result, the online supplier of the crystal designs has responded by designing a range of stick-on crystals just for men, named Pejazzles.

And who better than to launch the range than TOWIE star, club promoter and self-confessed Pejazzler, Mark Wright?

Mark is, he says, ‘keen to speak out’ for the growing number of men he claims are Pejazzling.

‘Women don’t necessarily want a rough and ready man. Some prefer a man who’s groomed and takes care of himself. It’s each to their own,’ he says.

But can a man really be taken seriously while decorated with Swarovski crystals - especially ‘down there’, as Mark calls it?

SALT LAKE CITY — A Salt Lake City woman has been arrested after authorities say she asked an undercover officer to give her drugs in exchange for a salad.

KSL-TV reports the 33-year-old woman approached the officer who was working on a street corner known for drug sales. Police say she asked the officer for $10 worth of cocaine, but said she only had $2 and an Olive Garden salad in a to-go box.

She told the undercover officer she could return a little later with more money or some gift cards to Olive Garden.

Police allege another officer searched the woman and found a glass pipe inside a cigarette pack in her pocket.

The woman was arrested and charged Monday with attempted possession or use of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia.

….

Thanks for the details Sacramento Bee. Way to really paint the full picture. How are we possibly supposed to make judgement without knowing what type of salad was in play here? I mean if it was one of those gross garden salads with a bunch of vegetables and salady things then yeah, this cop should arrest the woman for trying to barter a salad for cocaine. But what if it was one of those fat person salads? You know the ones I’m talking about. Where the person tells themselves they’re eating healthy even though their salad has like 10 pounds of bacon, 5 pounds of chicken and 3 gallons of dressing on it. A salad like that HAS to be worth a dime bag of cocaine. Fat person salads are delicious. They’re everything you want to eat on one tiny piece of lettuce. So until we find out what salad was on the trading block here I’m reserving all judgement.

PS
If you know you’re going to be purchasing some cocaine with your OG leftovers don’t you think it would be a smart idea to grab a few free breadsticks, you know, to strengthen your negotiation power? Or does that make too much sense for a person who is trying to trade a $2 salad for cocaine with an undercover police officer?

PPS
I guess you also don’t win cocaine with salad

FAIRFIELD, Conn. (AP) - A 43-year-old Fairfield woman has been arrested after police say she undressed and urinated in front of children near a car wash fundraiser for a local middle school

Amy Ficke is charged with creating a public disturbance and driving under the influence.

Police say children and others at the McKinley School car wash witnessed Ficke get out of her car Saturday and relieve herself.

Police said Ficke failed three sobriety tests. She is due in court on May 24. A message seeking comment from Ficke was left at her home.

…

I asked myself the other day a question I never really wanted to know the answer to. Do girls pee in the shower? For some reason, in my 26 years on this planet I had never even considered the thought that girls would do  such a thing. I pee in the shower every day. Sometimes I even know I have to pee, stare at the toilet while the shower warms up, and then get into the shower to pee. But I’m a guy and thats what guy’s do. They pee in the shower, they shit with the door open, go riverboat gambling and make beef jerky. But girls? I always thought there was no way girls  pee in the shower. Well, unfortunately it looks like Amy Ficke here may have proven me wrong. Because make no mistake, this was a situation where a drunk person was resorting to their most trusted and old habits. She was naked, there was a shower going (car wash) and she peed, Ergo Facto all women pee in the shower. Equal parts disgusting and depressing. This revelation just ruined my week.

h/t rochey

(Newser) – The mother of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s love child has been identified as long-time family housekeeper Mildred “Patty” Baena. Baena, now 50, had the former California governor’s son some 10 years ago and lives as a single mom divorcée with the boy and her three other children outside Los Angeles, according to several publications. She quit working for Schwarzenegger and now-estranged wife Maria Shriver in January after close to 20 years with the couple. Her son is the spitting image of his dad, and looks like a young Conan, reports TMZ. She didn’t tell Schwarzenegger he was her son’s father until the boy was a toddler, say friends.

Shriver said her husband’s revelation that he fathered the child was “painful and heartbreaking.” The two split earlier this year after four children and 25 years of marriage when Schwarzenegger revealed he had fathered a child with a member of their household staff. Two of power couple’s children, Kristina and Patrick, have tweeted that while the revelations are painful, they will always love and stick by their family, reports the New York Daily News. Schwarzenegger is said to be financially generous with Baena, who lives in a large house with a pool, but Radar says a debtor has a lien on the property.

…

I know I’ve been pretty quiet about this whole Arnold fiasco going down and thats really only because I wanted to wait until all the facts were out. Who the mother was, how old the son was etc etc. Because as soon as this story broke a week ago the only thing I could think of was the fact that maybe, just maybe, I am the love child. And how awkward would that be if I wrote all these blog posts that turned out to be about myself? Mortifying.

So to say I’m a little heartbroken right now would be a pretty big understatement. What if I had been living my entire life as a Schwarzenegger? Think about how fucking sweet that would be? And that is in no way an indictment of my real dad. I love my natural father. Best dad in the world. But I think even he would agree  that being the Terminator’s illigetimate love child would trump all the years of memories we have together. I mean really, how could it not?

PS

Ugh, we even have the same taste in jewelry.

…

Water snake found out of the water in Australia

…

I don’t know whats worse. The fact that this thing is cruising around looking to constrict people or the fact that it was once living in water. Has to be the water right? Because the only thing worse than a snake is a snake that can swim. There’s literally nowhere to hide from a swimming snake. They’ll eat you anywhere, anytime. Mother Nature can really be such a bitch sometimes.

Seriously. Not one bit. I don’t get it. Don’t you think you would want to shake that reputation? Maybe get a couple of face tattoos, lose the weird german hat, and hit the treadmill. Or do you think forever being the fat kid that  almost drowned in the chocolate river is a good way to pick up chicks? I just feel like that is something I would specifically NOT want to be known for. To each his own I guess.

PS
Who does TV Mike look like? I can’t figure it out and he definitely looks like someone.  Either that or he just turned into a really creepy guy. Which would make sense. Being shrunk and stuck in a TV can’t be all that great for your looks.

PPS

Is that you Johnny Cakes?

Cast

DES MOINES, Iowa — A 26-year-old woman is accused of starting a fire in the Des Moines apartment from which she was being evicted.

According to The Des Moines Register, Cassie Majerus was arrested Wednesday on suspicion of arson. Majerus had been served earlier in the week with eviction papers.

Police say the apartment’s smoke alarms were found in a closet by the bathroom.

According to a police report, Majerus told officers that “she likes to throw fire at things when she gets scared.”

Polk County Jail records said Friday that Majerus remained in custody, pending bail of $25,000. Online court records don’t list the name of her attorney.

….

This is 100% the landlord’s fault. Shouldn’t the landlord have vetted out Cassie Majerus just a little bit? Ask her a couple personal questions, see how she does under pressure. I mean its pretty fucking clear, when Cassie Majerus gets scared she throws fire. Thats not a fact she is keeping from people, you just have to ask and she’ll be happy to tell. So really the landlord has two options. 1) Don’t rent to Cassie Majerus or 2) Make sure she never ever gets scared. Seems pretty simple to me.

PS

Is Cassie Majerus hot? I honestly can’t tell. That haircut is banging but the mickey mouse T is throwing me off.

CHARLOTTE COUNTY, FL -

A traffic stop in Charlotte County ended with a man and woman in jail. Deputies say both of them tried hiding the drugs in some unusual spots.

Officials we spoke to say it all started when they spotted 46-year-old Cheryl Goulding get into Steven Cooper’s car. They say Goulding had just left a known drug house.

Deputies say Cooper, 49, blew through a stop sign and that’s when they stopped and searched the vehicle.

They say that is where they found the first bag of cocaine.

Cooper was placed in the back of a patrol car. And Goulding, deputies say, stood close by with her belt unbuckled.

In a report from the sheriff’s office, deputies stated that they asked Goulding if there was anything in the front of her pants.

Goulding responded by pulling a glass crack pipe from her vagina, deputies reported.

But the drug charges didn’t stop there.

Deputies say Cooper also tried to hide two zip lock bags filled with marijuana and drug paraphernalia in the back seat of the patrol car. But he wasn’t successful.

Deputies we spoke to Thursday explained they search their patrol cars anytime someone gets in or out.

They say if they find something once the suspect gets out, it could lead to more charges.

And that’s just what deputies say Cooper did. Deputies took him to jail and just as he was getting out of the car, they found yet another bag of cocaine in the back seat.

In all, two bags of cocaine, a bag of marijuana and a glass crack pipe were found on Cooper and Goulding.

Deputies say no matter where you hide it - they’re going to find it.

…

Hey you can’t knock Cheryl Goulding and Steven Cooper for a lack of effort. Like two squirrels hiding nuts for the winter, they’re stashing their drugs high and low, in vaginas and car seats, doing whatever they can to get out of that stop sign violation. There are two types of people in life. Those that give up when the going gets tough, pack their bags, admit their wrongs, and go home. And then there are those that go out guns blazing, putting drug paraphenilia in their genitals, hiding drugs in cop cars, fighting till the bitter end. Right or wrong you can’t knock the hustle.

PS
I’m pretty sure when you have Steven Cooper looking for good hiding spots its safe to say you’re not getting away with the crime. Not exactly my number 1 choice for eyeing  good places to stash the weed if you know what I mean.

(Source) A man stabbed his girlfriend because she bought milk after he already had bought some, Daytona Beach police said today.

Daniel Pacheco, 68, stabbed the woman, also 68, on Wednesday, police said. She was in good condition today at Halfax Health Medical Center in Daytona Beach.

Pacheco was treated Wednesday for a possible overdose of Tylenol and had surgery today on some tendons, police said. He cut himself on the lower arms and wrists, they said.
The stabbing happened at 11:35 a.m. at Colonial Colony, a manufactured-home community for people 55 and older. Officers found two knives there, both covered in blood, a report states.

….

This is the absolute worst. I got milk, you got milk, what are we going to do with all this milk? How do you decide who’s milk to drink first? Do you let one go bad and drink the other at a normal milk drinking pace? Do you pound the first to catch up to the second? Like sorry honey, put down the sandwich, its cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner until we drink all this milk. Just so many unanswered and confusing questions. Seems like Daniel Pachecho was stuck between a rock and a hard place with this one and the only thing he could do was stab his way out of it.

PS

I don’t drink milk so I can’t fully relate to this story but it kind of reminds me of going to a party and deciding what to bring only to have someone else bring it too. Like you go to the liquor store and say to yourself beer or liquor. Someone has to have liquor right? I’ll just play it safe and bring beer. Then you show up and there are 10,000 bud lights in the fridge and not one ounce of liquor. Which out of context sounds like a ridiculous thing to complain about but anyone who has had this happen to them knows its the absolute worst.

Look at Biden just crushing that cream

(Newser) – Osama bin Laden wanted to assassinate President Obama—but Joe Biden? No point in bothering with him, the al-Qaeda leader told his followers. Amongst bin Laden’s records, “there is a note indicating that the vice president is not an important target because that position has less weight,” a US official told ProPublica. Who else was important? “Military chiefs like the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the defense secretary, top military people.”

Writing for the Telegraph, Toby Harnden notes that to be fair, “the al-Qaeda leader tied the comment to the constitutional weakness of the vice-presidency rather than the antics of the garrulous current occupant.” But, he quips, “one does suspect that bin Laden might have rather liked to have got Dick Cheney.”

….

If I was Biden I would be absolutely furious about this. I mean no one WANTS to get assassinated, its probably not all that fun, but to not even be a big enough threat to be considered for the assassination? Total slap in the face.

Its like in elementary school when you’re picking teams for kickball and there’s that one kid left that no one wants, and the captain decides, you know what, fuck it, lets just play with 8 guys instead of picking the spaz. Biden is the spaz. He couldn’t even get assassinated if he tried. Beyond embarrassing.