Sep 14 2010

Two Hands On The Ball!

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Thank god this didn’t happen in America, I think I would have killed myself if I had to listen to Chris Berman announce this highlight.

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Sep 14 2010

Decapitated Man Found In Evanston With Explosive Device

User Submitted) – The leafy Chicago suburb of Evanston is in turmoil this morning following the discovery of a decapitated body with an explosive device near a middle school’s tennis courts. A witness tells the Chicago Tribune that he stumbled upon the shirtless, headless body about 5:15am while walking his dog; neighbors said they heard a loud blast between 4am and 4:30am. Police were called at that time, but found nothing.

“I thought my dog was chasing a rabbit, but when I got close it was a body without a head,” he said. “There was a weird smell in the air,” which he told the paper he thought was gunpowder. Streets near the school are blocked off, school has been closed for the day, and at least one helicopter is keeping watch over the area. Several houses are being evacuated

Yikes. Kind of a tough one to blog about right here. Like what do you even say about a headless guy with a bomb strapped to his chest. Umm, sorry I guess.

I think this is the first time in The Hot Glove’s history where I’ve been beat by a story. Just nothing I can do but tip my hat to the headless bomb guy. We all get beat sooner or later, it just so happens that I got beat by a guy with no head. I guess that makes me Ichabod Crane.

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Sep 14 2010

Awesome, Now I Can’t Go In The Water Either

First the ants now this fucking thing. Guess I can just never leave my house again. Thank god I got my X-Box fixed. Looks like I’ll be beating up on 9 year olds online for the foreseeable future.

Sep 14 2010

The Spy’s Fact of The Day

As of Wednesday of last week, Joey Votto had yet to pop-up in the infield this year

The Spy’s Take:  With the line set at 5.5 for the year, gambling whiz Pete Rose took the under…guys good..

Sep 14 2010

Probably The Most Accurate Commercial Of All Time

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So I saw this video about a week ago and didn’t even think about posting it. Just one of those things where something is so accurate and correct that its almost dumb to point out. Like no duh U of M is full of fat ugly assholes.

Flash forward to Saturday and Michigan beating Notre Dame, and all of a sudden its like Michigan is a national championship contender or something. Yeah Denard Robinson was awesome but lets get real, he did it against a .500 team. Wait until Big Ten play starts and Iowa’s front 4 or Chris Borland stuffs his dick in. Then lets see who’s walking around with their chest puffed out.

That’s the thing about Michigan fans, theyre all a bunch of pussies when they’re losing and tough guys when they win. Say what you will about those rednecks from Columbus but at least theyre consistent. Always acting like maniacs that will punch your girlfriend in the face, doesnt matter if they win 1 game or 12.

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Sep 14 2010

Texas Mother Pulls Gun On 7th Grade Volleyball Team

SAN ANTONIO, Sept. 13 (UPI) — Texas police say a woman believed to be the mother of a girl on a middle school volleyball team pulled a gun on members of an opposing team after a game.

Police said security cameras recorded the woman, believed to be a parent of a student at San Antonio’s Metzger Middle School, pulling a gun and threatening members of the Kirby High School seventh-grade volleyball team following their victory over the Metzger team, the San Antonio Express-News reported Monday.

“The Kirby team had just won, and they were in the back parking lot near the gym when the woman approached,” Judson Independent School District spokesman James Keith said.

The woman “approached them, pulled a handgun and threatened to shoot them,” Keith said.

Keith said police were working to identify the woman.

“We believe she was captured on tape, so we hope to be able to identify and arrest her,” he said.

What is this pull a gun on your teenager day? First Bob Barker is shooting BB’s and now this lady is taking out her gat on some 7th graders in a parking lot. I mean if this is the new “in” thing to do then I probably need to get to the gun store and find myself a teenager asap. I can’t be missing out on the latest trends in child abuse and attempted murder.

My only question is how much money did this lady have on the volleyball game? Had to be at least a g right? Probably had a nice little teaser on Metzger and the under, busted up by one of Kirby’s strikers at the last minute. And if thats the case, who could blame her for her actions. Nothing is worse than losing a last second 7th grade girls volleyball game when you have significant money on the line.

PS

At first I felt bad for this woman’s daughter, she was probably embarassed as shit. Then I realized we’re taking about Texas so it basically was a rite of passage for her. I bet one of her teammates came up to her after and was like “becky don’t even worry, my dad pulled a gun on the waiter at the Olive Garden just last week, this happens all the time”.

At least thats how it played out in my head.

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Sep 14 2010

What The Fuck Is This Ant Hurricane All About?

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Jesus Christ this thing is freaking me the fuck out. Remind me never to go outside again, ever. Fucking ants dancing around me, climbing up my pee hole like it ain’t no thing. Disgusting.

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Sep 14 2010

Portugese Official Angry About Daughter’s Traffic Ticket, Bites Police Officer

(Reuters) - A top municipal official in Lisbon’s Oeiras suburb sank his teeth into a traffic police officer during a discussion over a fine, apparently enraged by the familiar form used by the officer to address him.

Police said on Monday Esequiel Lino, an aide to the mayor of Oeiras, had come to the police station to protest his daughter’s car being towed away by police.

“He started verbally abusing the officers, kicking the desk and was warned several times, but it didn’t stop him. He went on and ended up biting one of the officers in the arm, and had to be detained,” a police spokeswoman said.

The officer had to be treated in a hospital.

The Diario de Noticias daily quoted a police source as saying the official had become infuriated when a young policeman, telling him to stop shouting, addressed the 64-year-old using the familiar form of “you,” without the honorific “sir.”

Lino’s responsibilities in the mayor’s administration include links with the municipal police.

And this right here is why the Big Cat sucked at Spanish in High school. God damn tu and ustedes, always fucking my shit up. One second you think you’re talking real nice and respectful to the teacher and the next thing you know you’re telling her to go to eat a dick just because you used the wrong “you”. How stupid is that? People always say English is tough, but look at me, I’m basically illiterate and I’ve got that shit down pat. I’m a regular Billy Shakespeare over here.

So as a master of both the spoken and written word I’m saying that this alternate “you” sucks. Figure it out Spain/Portugal, you can’t have two words that mean the same thing but don’t mean the same thing. That’s illegal. And frankly, its dangerous because one second you think you’re being all respectful and the next you have some old guy sinking his chompers into your arm giving you old person rabies.

PS

Whats up with all these government underlings getting all uppity these days? Yesterday was Sha Zakung now its Esequiel Lino. Talk about abuse of power, bunch of errand boys running around town like they own the joint. Someone needs to tell these guys to go get their shinebox.

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Sep 14 2010

Introducing The Film Camera…Again

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Thank god someone did this, I was getting so tired of plugging my camera into my computer and seeing all my pictures instantly. That shit was the worst.

Now can someone please bring back VHS and minidiscs. I have a Sony minidisc player collecting dust in my garage.

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Sep 14 2010

Pic Of The Day

Rocking Out Real Hard

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