In other news, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart’s bail has reportedly been set at $138,500.

Neidhart appeared in court this morning, charged with two drug trafficking charges, one count of burglary, & third-degree grand theft.

Local media outlets picked up the story this morning.

First Hulk goes to the hospital and now The Anvil is in jail. What the fuck is going on around here? Must be karmic backlash for Linda McMahon running for Governor of Conneticut. I’m all for the McMahon’s holding serious governmental power but not if its at the expense of the wrestlers. Just not worth it.

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Someone better find Macho Man and keep him safe. These things strike in threes and frankly I’m extremely concerned

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Whats up with the captain at :26? The fucking ship is going down and he’s trying to jam that poor ladies face into his cock. Come on bro, have some respect for the boat. Now is not the time to be spitting game at the passengers, you should be up in mission control getting ready to kill yourself if the boat goes down.

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Love that lady at :48 seconds, its like she had no idea the enormous support pole was right in front of her. Those things can really sneak up on you.

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Probably a good idea to hold off on those beers until after the fantasy draft. Although its kind of cool to be the only person on the planet to Have 3 buffalo Bills on their roster. Not to mention I was really being savvy by foregoing that whole defense thing for a backup TE. Can never have enough roster depth when you haven’t filled out your starting lineup.

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At least I scooped up both Steve Smiths. Thats a power move right there. Corner the market on the Steve Smiths and your guaranteed to draft the right one.

My fantasy season is over and it hasn’t even begun, fuck.

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An average American kid eats 46 slices of pizza a year.

The Spy’s Take:  That’s actually not too bad, about one a week…

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Seriously, what the fuck? Its like no one has any respect for a good old fashioned gang bang anymore. Back in the day it was totally cool to leave your cat or dog out when you’re having a train party at your house. But now. Now its like everyone wants to gang bang and steal your cat too. Fucked up.

I’ll tell you one thing, if this is a sign of the times, that you can’t have a nice little gang bang without your cat being ganked then I have no hope for my generation. None at all.

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(NewsCore) - A 420 pound (191 kg) British man was diagnosed by doctors as too heavy to have a job because he could fall and crush work colleagues, the Burton Mail reported Monday.

Barry Fowers, 51, from Staffordshire, western England, worked until October last year as an assembler fitter, the paper reported. However he was edged towards voluntary redundancy after insurance analysts decided his weight posed too great a risk to himself and others.

Fowers’ wife Shirley, a home care assistant said: “One of the main reasons he volunteered to take the pay-off was because he was classed as a potential danger to himself. Also, he was a potential risk to his work colleagues in case he fell on them.”

Fowers was initially put on incapacity benefit, but was later deemed fit to work by the U.K. Department for Work and Pensions and told to sign on for unemployment benefits — despite having a doctor’s sick note.

For the past six months he has been getting by on £65.45 ($101) a week in benefits. However, as of August 24 he was informed his allowance was reduced to £21.65.

Shirley Fowers said: “I can’t afford to keep him. I may as well pack my husband’s bags and chuck him on the street.”

Jesus christ, how about this guy’s wife. Unreal. Whatever happened till death do us part? To true love? So Barry Fowers eats a little too much. So he was deemed a risk to both himself and everyone around him because he might fall and suffocate someone. I feel like that shit happens all the time, guy gets too fat and is forced to stop working because his fatness could kill someone. Just a typical story of a guy having a few too many pizzas. No big deal, except Shirley Fower’s is flipping out and talking like its the end of the world, that she can all of sudden throw her fat husband out the door like she’s magnus von magnusson or something. I don’t think so honey, thats not how fat works, you’re stuck with Barry’s slow moving non working ass for the rest of his/your life. Go watch whats eating Gilbert Grape, take a few notes from Johnny Depp, get a little perspective on life.

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I think England is on to something with this kilogram shit. 191 kg doesnt really even sound that fat. Kind of sounds like a skinny guy to me.

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I just can’t understand how that happened. How do you go to batting practice and not have your head on a swivel. The guy was just sitting there like he was taking in a fucking ballet not like he was sitting directly where 400 foot bombs were being hit at his skull. If you ask me he kind of gets what he deserves, just sucks that what he gets is probably a concussion and memory loss for the rest of his life. Don’t want to get smashed in the brain by a baseball, wear a glove. Not too difficult to figure out.

PS

I could literally watch that slow mo take a million times, does that make me a bad person?

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(Sky News) - A Colombian measuring just over two feet tall has been officially recognized as the world’s shortest living man by the Guinness World Records, Sky News reported Monday.

Edward Nino Hernandez, measuring 27 inches, is slightly taller than a piece of carry-on luggage and weighs 22lbs.

“He hasn’t grown since he was two years old,” his mother Noemi Hernandez said.

The previous titleholder was China’s He Pingping, who was 1.5 inch taller than the Colombian and died on March 13.

“I feel happy because I’m unique,” Nino, 24, said in a recent interview but added that “it bothers me that people are (always) touching me and picking me up.”

According to his mother, doctors could not explain why her son is so small. “They never gave us a diagnosis,” she said.

Nino comes from Bosa, a mostly poor district of southern Bogota, and loves to dance, dreams of owning a car and wants to see the world.

The record holder also said he has an 18-year-old girlfriend named Fanny, who measures less than 5 feet tall.

Nino does suffer from some health problems including cataracts in both of his eyes that blur his vision and require surgery.

His mother said: “He doesn’t see well. He isn’t able to read.”

Nino also had to repeat several years of school before dropping out.

Hold on, did Nino just say he has a girlfriend that is almost 5 feet tall named Fanny? Bullshit bro. Just no way I’ll believe that. This Fanny girl sounds real hot. I mean just the name alone has me all hot and bothered. So go ahead and tell me you haven’t grown since you were two, I’ll even believe the fact that you can’t read because I can barely read myself, but don’t go around telling people you have some hot ass girlfriend named Fanny. I need some hardcore proof before I start believing that shit.

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I’m also not really impressed with Nino holding up that Guiness Book to show how small he is. Have you ever seen that book? Thing is like 7,000 pounds and 4 feet tall. Nino looks like an average looking dude if you ask me.

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After A Long Weekend, I Feel You Bro

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Who says summer is over? Not on Juggalo Island its not. Because if there is one thing I know about summer time its that it never ends as long as you got your dick in someone else’s hot dog bun.

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How much would you pay to have the next Survivor on Juggalo Island? 1 Million? 2 Million? Someone call up Bill Gates and get that shit going.

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