Sep 23 2010

Spain Has Flaming Bulls, America Answers In Record Speed

A car was consumed by flames on the streets of Boston’s Financial District this morning.

The car fire was reported  at Milk and Arch streets. The fire was “nothing unusual” and was extinguished without any problems, said Boston Fire Department spokesman Steve MacDonald.

No injuries were reported.

Ha, once again America just kicking the shit out of everyone and everything in record speed. Like here I was giving Spain an ounce of credit for having the balls to get chased by flaming bulls and BOOM America tomahawk jams in their eyeball.

Oh so you put a couple of sparklers on your pet bull? Big fucking deal, we just lit a car on fire in the middle of a city and let it burn unattended. And you know the Cops response, no big deal.


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Thanks to Timmy for the tip

Sep 23 2010

Spain Just Got Some Major Points In My Book

MADRID — Lawmakers who banned bullfighting in Spain’s Catalonia region this summer voted Wednesday to endorse other traditions that have been criticized as cruel to bulls, such as attaching burning sticks to their horns as they chase human thrill seekers.

The vote will only affect the Catalonia region of northeast Spain, but it addresses another manifestation of this country’s timeless fascination with bulls and the testing of people’s bravery with the snorting animals.

Well this is just about the most badass thing you can do right here. Flaming Bulls? Yes please. Good work Spain. Now if only those Cheese eating, wine drinking,  poopy pants Frenchmen to the north could take a hint and do something this cool maybe this world would be a better place.

Sep 23 2010

College Football Picks

I’m pretty sure if I keep dominating with my picks I can get the girl on the left to be my girlfriend, so I got that going for me me which is nice.  And gambling is legal is Las Vegas, so it looks like it’s a match made in heaven.

Pittsburgh +3.5 vs Miami

Boston College +4 vs Virginia Tech

Arkansas +7 vs Alabama

Notre Dame +4.5 vs Stanford

California +7 vs Arizona

Nevada -4 vs BYU

South Carolina +3 vs Auburn

Last Week 6-2-1

Season 15-4-2

Sep 23 2010

The Spy’s Fact of The Day

The U.S. Government issued a policy statement for Peace Corps workers telling them what to do if they were attacked by an anaconda:  (in sum)  Don’t run away because it’s faster than you, remain calm while the snake swallows your feet and ankles.  When the snake’s mouth reaches your knees, cut its mouth open and sever its head!

The Spy’s Take:  Good ol’ Uncle Sam always looking out for you…

Sep 23 2010

Does Anyone Know Spanish? Because We Need A Translator ASAP

I really have no idea what is going on in this picture. Don’t even know where to begin. I just know that we need a translation right now because currently I’m reading

“O Que Deus Uniu o Homem nao separe”


“I like to french kiss with my grandmother and I’m going to marry her and do really gross things that will make everyone want to throw up in their mouth and burn their eyeballs out of their skull just so we can forget this all happened”.


Would you believe me if I told you I got a C in High School Spanish?

Sep 23 2010

Need A New Hip? This Guy Will Bam You One Real Quick

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Take it easy man, you’re going to bam this lady to death. Like its bad enough that the poor lady can’t even stand up with her broken hip she doesnt need you bamming her in the fucking teeth like that.  Careful with those bams brother. God doesnt just give bams to any old person. You waste bams on some ladies hip and there won’t be enough bams for the rest of us.


Think if I found this guy he could bam the check engine light off in my avalon? Thing has been on for like 2 years now and I’m getting a little worried. Might be time to get God involved.


Did that lady’s hip get fixed or did she just have an orgasm?

Sep 23 2010

Important Hot Glove Announcement - New Site Design Coming Soon

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Alright so many of you know that started as a little something to pass the time during the day, hopefully make you laugh and forget your miserable existence as a cubicle monkey if only for a fleeting second. Since then The Hot Glove has grown naturally to a point where it is time to shine the shoes, get a haircut and put on our best sunday suit.

I’m talking new and improved website.

The re-launch will hopefully be taking place early next week, so if you come to The Hot Glove at that time don’t be shocked by the new design. You’re still in the right place, we’ve just spruced it up a little with some bells and whistles.

In addition to the relaunch we will hopefully be adding some additional weekly/daily articles to increase the levels of fun.

You can always help The Hot Glove by spreading the word, whether it be by telling a bum on the street who doesnt even own a computer or sharing a story via facebook or email. Anything and everything is helpful and much appreciated.

Finally let me know if anything doesnt work or is weird with the new site. The site will now be I-Phone friendly and I have added some features to make commenting easier. So in addition to spreading the word to your friends, comment until your little fingers can’t type anymore.

Now back to your scheduled programming of Florida arrests and dancing 3 year olds….


Re-Launch party in Chicago is happening so stay tuned for details on that.

Sep 23 2010

North Carolina Man Arrested For Tanning His Private Parts Outside Of Wal-Mart

By Kimberly Dick - [email protected]


A North Carolina man faces indecent exposure charges after police say he was found without pants on taking pictures of himself Monday afternoon in the parking lot of Sears at the Galleria Mall in Rock Hill.

The 47-year-old man, who lives on Naked Creek Road in Conover, N.C., was charged with indecent exposure after a man riding his bike to Walmart on Dave Lyle Boulevard alerted police, according to a Rock Hill police report.

When police arrived, the man wasn’t wearing anything on the lower half of his body, the report states. When officers asked why he wasn’t wearing pants, he responded “I was trying to get a tan,” the report states.

He was arrested and charged with indecent exposure.

On the man’s cell phone in the seat next to him, officers found pictures he had taken of the lower half of his body.

I’m calling bullshit on this whole story. First of all, seems a little convenient that the alleged penis tanner lives on Naked Road. Oh and why don’t we have Kimberley Dick write the story for us. Come on Rock Herald Online, we’re not that dumb. This thing was a cover up from the word go.

Clearly this poor guy was just minding his own business half naked in the Wal-Mart, probably jo-ing to some “Home and Garden”  or “Better Living” magazines. When he was so rudely interrupted and  the police were called. Then Wal-Mart, knowing that its recent press isn’t all that great when it comes to masturbating customers, kicked him out where he was forced to lie to the authorities and say he was tanning his junk outside the store.

Thats my take on the whole thing because at the end of the day people don’t just sit in their cars tanning their junk while they take dick pictures with their Nokia 1100. That doesnt happen. They go home and take cock shots with their webcam idly waiting until Chris Hanson knocks on the door and they get their 5 minutes on national television. That’s how these things work themselves out.

What the fuck is Lance Armstrong’s problem calling the cops on this guy pretending like he’s never tanned his dick. Not to mention those spandex shorts he was probably  wearing are way more gross than a half naked dick tanner.
Sep 23 2010

Michigan Man Arrested For Fighting His Pet Parrot On Sidewalk

ANN ARBOR, Mich. –  A 49-year-old Jackson man has been arrested in Ann Arbor following a fight with the pet parrot carried in his backpack. Police told for a story Wednesday that witnesses reported the colorful bird was shaken so violently that its feathers were scattered.

Three 911 calls were made following the Tuesday night incident. Lt. Renee Bush said the parrot was “squawking loudly” when officers arrived.

But the bird was fighting back, leaving one of its owner’s thumbs “scratched and bloodied.”

The parrot suffered a red eye and bald patches. Bush said it also was limping.

The owner told officers he was disciplining and training the bird. He was being held in the Washtenaw County Jail pending charges.

Typical Michigan guy. Win a couple of football games and all of sudden they start picking fights with parrots trying to impress everyone.

We get it dude, you think your shit don’t stink because you went to Ann Arbor, but no one is impressed when you sucker punch Toucan Sam.


Sounds like the parrot got a couple shots in of his own. Good for you Parrot, way to get some street cred. Probably going to get all kinds of parrot pussy back in the pet shop.

Sep 23 2010

Breaking News - Chicago Bulls Make Biggest Free Agent Signing Of The Summer

Yahoo Sports has reported that forward Brian Scalabrine, who spent the last five seasons with the Celtics, has agreed to a non-guaranteed contract with the Chicago Bulls.

Scalabrine, 32, averaged 9.1 minutes a game last season, but played only one playoff game. His career scoring average is 3.3.

In Chicago, Scalabrine re-joins former Celtics assistant coach Tom Thibodeau, who is now the Bulls’ head coach. According to the Yahoo report’s sources, Scalabrine was a “good bet” to make the team.

Did you guys think I was talking about Melo? Fuck no, that guy is way over-rated. I’m talking about that ginger glue that will hold together the Bulls Nucleus.

Brian Scalabrine is in the house and all that guy does is win championships, plain and simple.


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